tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22487716381462801472024-03-14T06:36:17.410-07:00I AM OFFENDED BECAUSE...Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-3939597429436311292011-10-03T06:57:00.000-07:002011-10-03T23:12:39.324-07:00Are You There Blog? It's Me, Ally.<span class="Apple-style-span">Hello little blog. Hello little corner of the internet that I created, over a year ago. Hello little corner that I have been ignoring. Hello little website that I haven't written in for months. And my, what a difference a couple of months can make! How DATED does Blogger look right now? Do you think that if I moved this little blog over to Wordpress I would be tempted to update more often? Perhaps, if I 'blogged' (and I use that term loosely) at Wordpress I would become the kind of blogger who organises some kind of reader giveaway on the birthday of her blog, instead of forgetting such an important date while being too busy with wintery/windy/woebegone activities like illegally watching MasterChef Australia and trying to determine, once and for all, how much butter can physically be absorbed into a potato. (Answer: heaps.)</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">I'm sorry, blog. I don't really know what's up with me at the moment? I've been feeling weird about you and about our relationship and to be honest, weird about myself in general. And I'm sorry, but I think I'm about to be self-indulgent for a bit. I can't imagine my self-centred-ness will come as a surprise to you, because really, only somebody with some kind of narcissistic personality would feel comfortable sharing as much about their sex life on the internet as I do. (Sex life, in case you're wondering, is just fine. Fine as in had sex this morning. And yesterday.) I guess I started feeling tired and burnt out from arguing on the internet. And like I had less and less energy for being called a moo cow on heat and having to deal with moderating comments like these:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=squishy.png" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/squishy.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">I felt tired at how vehement people on the internet were about defending their right to make <a href="http://www.salient.org.nz/columns/i-am-offended-because-ex-lovers-words-and-why-some-things-just-aren%E2%80%99t-funny">rape jokes</a> and I felt tired of being c-o-n-s-u-m-e-d by arguing on the internet, that mixture of adrenaline and urgency and dread every time you click 'refresh'. I've been tired in real life because I moved house and got to do all of this new stuff at work and then I did a little bit of acting in a play for my friend Freya and STUFF and THINGS and EXCUSES. I felt tired and I stopped writing. Now I think I feel less tired, especially now that the sun has come out, but I'm still not writing. (Actually, I am right now, as you can see, but at the moment nothing is stopping me from sending this blog post to live with all of the other blog posts Who Never Made It. Perhaps one day they will all visit me in a dream like that time on Six Feet Under when Nate meets the ghosts of all of his aborted children?)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">Another thing. I don't know if you've noticed but I tend to think about things quite a lot. Heaps. Maybe even too much. During the time of Not Blogging I thought a lot about the name of this blog. I Am Offended Because. <i>I Am Offended Because</i>. What does it mean, this setting myself up as someone who is permanently offended? At some stage, during the Not Blogging and the Over Thinking and the Potato Buttering and the I-Should-Maybe-Be-On-Some-Kind-Of-Anxiety-Medication I read some articles about positive thinking and the powers of attraction and I became paralysed with fear that by being offended all the time I was setting myself up for a miserable life. And then I thought how it is a privlege to even entertain the idea of the powers of positive thinking. I told you I was serious about the over thinking thing. There is a reason that my red haired, balsamic vinager loving friend Scarlett sends me emails that say:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><i>"<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; ">You have a tendency to over think, and you talk yourself out of things. Time to DO. Time to BE."</span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; ">Right now I'm thinking about whether it is 'overthinking' or 'over-thinking' or 'over thinking'. I guess if I can over think the word itself I can probably over think this blog. This thing on the internet that I made and that belongs to me. And trust, I've over thought this blog until every fucking cow has well and truly come home. I've been feeling weird about the waxing and waning popularity of this website and I've been feeling weird about the more-people-than-I-can-count-on-four-hands (yours-and-mine) who deleted me off Facebook when I started writing this, out of fear of my inane little screen caps and I've been thinking about how stupid it is to measure your friendships through social media in the first place. I've been thinking about the people who have deleted me who now want to talk to me about politics at dinner parties, and how confused that makes me feel. I've been thinking about the people who I definitely hurt by screen capping them in the first place and I've been thinking about whether that's even a productive form of activism. (Is it? Is it not? I don't know.) I've been thinking about how I don't really have any authority on anything, let alone on being offended, when I know I can be just as ignorant and hurtful as the next white cis-lady with a place on the internet that she made. I've been thinking about that stinging feeling of ownership, the feeling that rears its ugly-feeling-head when I introduce a friend to a concept like fat acceptance which they reject and then go on to preach at a later date, with no mention of our initial conversations. I've been thinking about the bitter self-importance of associating any kind of ownership whatsoever with concepts that are tied to equality and kindness and human decency. I've been thinking that this blog wouldn't even exist in the first place if my friends Sarah and Meg hadn't introduced me to <a href="http://www.definatalie.com/">Definatalie</a> and <a href="http://life.salon.com/2009/01/24/kate_harding/singleton/">Kate Hardin</a>g and <a href="http://www.fashionhayley.com/">Fashion Hayley</a> while we were sitting at Sweet Mother's Kitchen. I've been thinking and I've been thinking and I've been thinking. And I don't have any answers. Apart from the fact that these thoughts feel less ugly and less absorbing now that I'm writing then down.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">So there it is, little blog. The anxiety and the arrogance that has kept me away. But look, even though I haven't been writing very much on the internet, I've actually been doing quite a lot of reading. Bloggy mine, I thought that I could maybe leave you with a few links? Of all of things that I have been reading on the internet? Because I kind of had this idea that maybe by the time you finish reading them, maybe, just maybe I might feel like writing something again? You never know right?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">And lawdee, do I have links for you. What kind of links do you want? Do you want travel blog links? Because at the moment Sophie is writing possibly the <a href="http://bebackin5.tumblr.com/">best</a> travel blog ever. And my old friend Natalie is <a href="http://eatasia.tumblr.com/">eating her way</a> through Asia. And my friend Erin made the cutest <a href="http://thewalrussaid.tumblr.com/">travel Tumblr</a> while she was away, at my insistence. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">Or maybe you want nice things to look at/potentially buy? I can maybe help you there. How about this <a href="http://littlefeett.tumblr.com/post/10864507027">ring</a> that looks like salad? How about <a href="http://nadiaaboulhosn.blogspot.com/">Nadia Aboulhosn</a>, who might be the sexiest woman on the planet? If hot women wearing clothes are your thing then you should look at <a href="http://missameliahart.blogspot.com/2011/07/fat-american-teenaged-sophia-loren-in.html">Amelia</a> and <a href="http://fat-aus.com/2011/07/04/out-in-the-country/">Bronny</a> and <a href="http://www.gabifresh.com/">Gabi</a>. Maybe a <a href="http://kstandsforknife.tumblr.com/post/10772055673">gif</a> of a cat rapidly changing outfits might be more your style. And you should most definitely look at <a href="http://innerfatgirl.tumblr.com/post/10827133626/here-are-the-last-of-the-photos-from-our-shoot">these</a> pictures of Jessica and Erin because these pictures are so sexy that they make my eyes fall out of my head. I like looking at Fashion Hayley's <a href="http://www.fashionhayley.com/2011/06/small-apartment-living.html">apartment</a> and <a href="http://www.fashionhayley.com/2011/06/how-to-make-terrarium.html">teranium</a> while imagining that one day I might be organised enough to keep an apartment tidy/keep a plant alive. I also die a little bit for Jamie Lee's <a href="http://hippopotamuslee.blogspot.com/2011/07/i-keep-forgettin.html">nails</a> and Nicolette Mason's <a href="http://www.nicolettemason.com/2011/08/faux-real.html">jacket</a> and <a href="http://www.nicolettemason.com/2011/07/summer-to-maxi.html">skirt</a> and these <a href="http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-LEO-Sequin-Slipper/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1703226">sequinned</a> slippers. Speaking of those slippers, my gawd there are a lot of things on the internet that I want to buy. Like <a href="http://www.limecrimemakeup.com/products/COSMOPOP-opaque-lipstick.html">this</a> and <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/66451632/naughty-hand-embroidery-wall-art-curvy">this</a> and <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/81923793/neon-pink-and-periwinkle-hand-painted">this</a> and <a href="http://www.seibei.com/im-fat-lets-party-177">this</a> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Wilder-Life-Adventures-Little-Prairie/dp/1594487804">this</a> every single little thing that <a href="http://giselaramirez.com.au/">Gisella</a> designs.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">Or are you here to do some serious reading? You probably are if you like reading my long form (read: long winded) writing. And I have read so many good articles since the last time I blogged in April. There are some articles that I'm never going to forget, like Mac McCLelland's <a href="http://www.good.is/post/how-violent-sex-helped-ease-my-ptsd/">piece</a> at GOOD or <a href="http://daddy-dialectic.blogspot.com/2011/05/day-at-park.html">this</a> piece at Daddy Dialectic. I discovered Martha Polk's writing, most notably <a href="http://thehairpin.com/2011/04/a-letter-to-the-secret-masturbator">this</a> at the Hairpin, and her <a href="http://whatisthislight.blogspot.com/2010/12/black-swan-and-banshee-wails_22.html">review</a> of Black Swan which describes ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of my feelings about Black Swan, much more eloquently than I could. I've read a lot of great things at the Hairpin actually, like <a href="http://thehairpin.com/2011/05/what-its-like-to-get-a-biopsy">this</a> and <a href="http://thehairpin.com/2011/08/my-moms-fitness-competition">this</a> and <a href="http://thehairpin.com/2011/09/the-best-time-i-found-out-i-had-hpv">this</a>. Some of my friends have written great things as well, like <a href="http://www.scribd.com/doc/55947898/The-Happy-Hooker-Metro-Magazine-April-2011#source:facebook">this</a> piece on sex work and Coley's <a href="http://theladygarden.org/2011/09/08/i-fucking-hate-the-rugby-world-cup/">take</a> on the Rugby World Cup. I loved what Blue Milk had to <a href="http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2011/08/17/too-sexy-for-breastfeeding/">say</a> about Madison Young's exhibition and surely everyone by now has read Roseanne Barr's <a href="http://nymag.com/print/?/arts/tv/upfronts/2011/roseanne-barr-2011-5/">article</a>, which was everywhere a couple of months ago, but it still gives me goosebumps. I love <a href="http://youarenotyou.tumblr.com/post/6919036234/about-productivity">this</a> piece on productivity. I love Susannah Breslin's letter projects, <a href="http://lettersfromjohns.blogspot.com/">Letters from Johns</a> and <a href="http://lettersfromworkinggirls.blogspot.com/">Letters From Working Girls</a>. I love Tavi's new website Rookie, especially her piece <a href="http://rookiemag.com/2011/09/getting-over-girl-hate/">Getting Over Girl Hate</a> and this bit of writing called <a href="http://rookiemag.com/2011/09/hands-off/">Hands Off</a> by Miranda July. I like this Paris Review <a href="http://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2011/01/24/my-rayannes/">piece</a> by Emma Straub. I like what Glitter Politic have to <a href="http://glitterpolitic.tumblr.com/post/10526337484/re-think-everything-interrogate-yourself-know-your">say</a> about activism. I think Kat George is <a href="http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/things-i-do-when-im-alone-in-my-room-the-non-porno-version/">funny</a>. <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/my-father-is-an-african-immigrant-and-my-mother-is-a-white-girl-from-kansas-and-i-am-not-the-president-of-the-united-states/Content?oid=8932130">This</a> is smart and thoughtful. I love that Sady Doyle gave me even <a href="http://tigerbeatdown.com/2011/09/11/with-dim-lights-on-feminism-and-virtue/">more</a> to think about, in terms of feminism and blogging. I agree with <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/bridesmaids-death-to-the-chick-flick/Content?oid=8078915">this</a> and with <a href="http://www.theawl.com/2011/05/bridesmaids-am-i-doing-being-a-woman-wrong">this</a>, at the same time. Do you want to do some long form reading that will shatter your heart into little tiny pieces and then put it back together, in a comforting and inspiring way? Then there is nothing better than Dear Sugar on the Rumpus. I am yet to find a column that does not make me weep. Try <a href="http://therumpus.net/2010/08/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-48-write-like-a-motherfucker/">this</a> and <a href="http://therumpus.net/2010/07/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-44-how-you-get-unstuck/">this</a> and <a href="http://therumpus.net/2011/09/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-86-tiny-revolutions/">this</a>.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">Maybe you want links to some kind of creative project? If you do, you should go and paint your nails like <a href="http://daintysquid.blogspot.com/2011/07/nail-tutorial-simple-triangles.html">this</a>. Or like <a href="http://hellogiggles.com/get-yo-nails-did">this</a>. Or take some inspiration from <a href="http://www.thefullnilson.com/post/10654025747/instagrammin-my-maniz">Leah</a>. If you're feeling ambitious you could cover your floor in <a href="http://thecraftychica.blogspot.com/2011/07/mi-vida-loca-how-to-glitter-concrete.html">glitter</a>. Is cooking creative? Because I recommend both <a href="http://smittenkitchen.com/2008/11/pumpkin-cupcakes/">of</a> <a href="http://smittenkitchen.com/2011/04/french-onion-soup/">these</a> recipes from Smitten Kitchen, which I made over winter and made me think I was the best cook in Wellington. Do you live alone? Then Jane has cooking <a href="http://www.readymade.com/blog/author/jfeltes">tips</a> for you. Or you could get some strongly worded recipe ideas from <a href="http://whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com/">here</a>. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">Do you want some new people to follow on Twitter? Because you should follow my friend <a href="https://twitter.com/di_twhitter">Di</a>, who has the smartest Twitter in town. You could even follow <a href="https://twitter.com/allygarrett">my</a> Twitter, which is less smart and features approximately double the number of food related tweets. Or you just read this <a href="http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/some-tweets-from-cats-if-cats-could-use-twitter/">article</a> about cats tweeting, which probably usurps all of the good people that I follow on Twitter, even <a href="https://twitter.com/josielong">Josie</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/HalfPintIngalls">Laura</a>.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">There's also just some stuff that I downright love on the internet. Like, I love ANY <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG4f9zR5yzY">video</a> that features Louis CK. I love This American Life, but I love this <a href="http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/218/act-v">episode</a> the most. And any blog that combines nail art and burgers is basically my <a href="http://nailburgerlar.tumblr.com/">dream</a>. One day, I'm going to eat an ice-cream from <a href="http://www.biggayicecream.com/">here</a>. And I'm probably never going to drink <a href="http://luxirare.com/bloodless-mary/">this</a>, but that's okay. And Scarlett, the friend that I mentioned up there, writes <a href="http://rightingit.tumblr.com/post/10160783746/dickon-meets-edward">things</a> sometimes that are just so clever. And Definatalie draws <a href="http://www.definatalie.com/2011/09/23/long-live-the-pastry-queen/">things</a> that are just amazing. I love Nancy Upton's American Apparel protest <a href="http://extrawiggleroom.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a> and I love her xoJane <a href="http://www.xojane.com/fun/women-we-love-nancy-upton-edition">interview</a>. I love it when my friend Freya <a href="http://freyadesmarais.tumblr.com/post/8460312444/hello-tumblr-i-dont-purport-to-rap-well-but">raps</a>, topless. I love <a href="http://www.freewillastrology.com/">these</a> horoscopes and I love the <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/video/index/245866/">nineties</a> and I love <a href="http://angeldoesstuff.tumblr.com/">this</a> Tumblr and I love <a href="http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/8ez8G4/www.good.is/post/intermission-the-wave-at-the-bus-dad-dressed-in-costume-for-170-days/">this</a> dad and I love how much <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taman_Shud_Case">this</a> wikipedia entry gives me the creeps. I love <a href="http://fuckyeahfelines.tumblr.com/post/4789260825/this-is-my-cat-squeak">this</a> cat. I love <a href="http://ultimateghostrider.tumblr.com/post/4778751624">these</a> guys. And maybe, more than anything, I love <a href="http://thehairpin.com/2011/09/belles-inner-monologue">this</a> video and I don't even think it's because I may have been under the influence of some kind of green substance when I first watched it. A green substance that wasn't spirulina, <a href="http://www.google.co.nz/imgres?q=weed+cake&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rlz=1C1AVSX_enNZ411NZ411&biw=1366&bih=643&tbm=isch&tbnid=d_n4Dah-axRNnM:&imgrefurl=http://forum.sensiseeds.com/images/cannabis_fun/weed_cake_who_wants_c9347.html&docid=YhFfcN7Pds-UYM&w=545&h=409&ei=M-eGTqWQGu3zmAW9nMko&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=384&vpy=152&dur=641&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=93&ty=75&page=1&tbnh=139&tbnw=190&start=0&ndsp=19&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0">WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE</a>.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">There are even little bits of me in other places on the internet. You could read my <a href="http://iamoffendedbecause.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a>, if 'read' is synonymous with scrolling through pictures of scantily clad chubby girls and gifs of desserts melting. You could even go and read some of things I've been <a href="http://www.salient.org.nz/author/ally-garrett">writing</a> for Salient. People especially seemed to like it when I got a bit <a href="http://www.salient.org.nz/features/i-hate-celery-and-some-other-things-i-feel-strongly-about">gooey</a> over my girlfriend. If all else fails, and if none of these thinks appeal to you, then maybe you just want to watch me dance. This is the rhythm of my life. My life. Oh yeah.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><br /><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/MS280ao-h54" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-71734494468300358002011-04-11T22:01:00.000-07:002011-04-12T03:07:46.165-07:00My Unlikely Motherhood...<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: small; ">I'm pretty sure I'm never going to have children.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">That sounds flippant I know, and I don't mean to trivialise the hurt that so many uterus-bearing people (and their partners) feel when their body won't do the things they desperately want it to do. This isn't a blog about infertility. This is a blog about a young woman's choices. (<i>The young woman being me, in case you were confused. Which you probably shouldn't be because I haven't-even-written-any-sentences-like-this-yet</i>.) And as far as my choices go the baby making is looking pretty unlikely indeed, what with the lesbian thing and the lack of any solid career or even vague financial stability thing. There's also the fact that I tend to not really like kids very much, and have actually made statements in the past like "I hate children" and "a great business plan would be to start up a child free airline"; statements which I am starting to see as being perhaps ever so slightly problematic with the help of feminist motherhood bloggers, my favourites being <a href="http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/">Blue Milk</a> and <a href="http://mymilkspilt.wordpress.com/">Spilt Milk</a>. (Tis true, to make my list you must include the word 'milk' in your blogging handle.) Also, children tend not to like me very much, which is probably due to the fact that my armament of social tools (over sharing information about my sex life and wearing statement head wear) isn't entirely appreciated by those under twelve. There's plenty of other reasons for my not wanting children: my phobia of needles, my low pain threshold, my dislike of having sticky hands, my hatred of all things animated. The list does go on. (My vehement refusal to play any sort of game, my dislike of doctors, my irrational fear that my breasts are so large they would suffocate my baby mid-breast feed....)</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Mostly though, I'm just worried that if I had children they might turn out like Ben Simpson. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I'm worried that they might be the kind of person who would see a Facebook event for the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=208587089152009">Wellington Young Feminists' Collective Launch Party</a> and decide to post this:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=bensimpsonpussy.png" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/bensimpsonpussy.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">And then upon reflection, decide he hasn't sought quite enough attention and then post this as well:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=Bensimpsonlesbians.png" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/Bensimpsonlesbians.png" border="0" alt="bensimpson" /></a></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">You can thank me now, dear PIV loving readers, for the best contraception I have ever come across. Run out of condoms on a bush hike? Just think of Ben Simpson. Forgot to renew your pill prescription? Just think of Ben Simpson. Stuck overnight in Vatican City? Just think of Ben Simpson. Just think of Ben Simpson and think about giving birth to a son and changing his soggy nappies and covering his school books with duraseal and then seeing him use 'lesbian' as an insult on the internet! Imagine reading to him every night and washing his sticky wet dream bed sheets only to be slapped in the face by his trolling of a feminist Facebook group! Imagine raising a son so steeped in his own privilege yet so insecure about his masculinity that he chooses to spend his Monday evenings insulting the social justice movement on the internet! </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I think I would possibly die of embarrassment. And so I remain childless. If any accidents happen (unlikely, due to both the lesbian monogamy and the lack of phantom sperm floating around Aro Valley) my son will be raised with this picture of Christina <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><em style="font-style: normal; ">Aguilera super glued to his wall:</em></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><em style="font-style: normal; "><br /></em></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><em style="font-style: normal; "><br /></em></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><em style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; line-height: normal; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigKB2olmFKdkLWFo9owvZwtu99tsQ4cwzPkFmxDv7F_dpyKRy5r4H-WULQ_VoJp_JjHcMohfr-cpM7L1H-EURpkANtJ7kWwbsYnZKwmtX_KVVX9NR_sCSh64qN26r_q3F5a6cYkZ0Canda/s400/christina.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5594609628678216050" style="text-align: justify;display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; cursor: pointer; width: 301px; height: 400px; " /></span></em></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><em style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; line-height: normal; "><br /></span></em></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><em style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></em></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; ">Post Script Part One - These screen caps were taken earlier in the evening on the WYFC event page. After I went to bed I understand that Ben Stimpson stuck around being boring and nasty resulting in his banning</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "> from the event page - thus the comments have now disappeared.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><br /></span></div></span></span></em></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">Post Script Part Two - If you are reading this and you would like internet fame for your brilliant witticisms leveled at Ben Simpson just let me know and I can remove your MS Paint anonymity. </span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">Post Script Part Three - If you live in Wellington... See you on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=208587089152009">Friday</a>!</span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; font-style: normal; line-height: normal; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqd7BQlDPyY1L4WhSTUYVFv1GLiHa0jrd3KRtHLXdZArnNh6SmhDSywcYBsJZT1HEI1F0sZ99uAhv8nB4JO62qrCgg3PI6bcosIxQPLC1AecsHJKkFe0ySYbUoUz_ubi_c2HBNSsHx2BNl/s400/WYFCGoodLuckPoster.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5594632311629194914" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 287px; height: 400px; " /></span></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;">Post Script Part Four - WYFC Event Poster designed by Natasha Sawicki Mead. Photo of Christina designed by Google Images.</span></i></span></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-41584339332724303492011-04-03T17:39:00.000-07:002011-04-02T22:39:39.071-07:00This One Time I Decided To Blog About Going to See a Movie<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; ">I</span><span class="Apple-style-span">'ve been feeling kind of lackluster about this blogging thing lately. I've also been feeling a little bit lackluster about cleaning my side of the bed and cooking meals involving vegetables and returning things to the DVD store on time, so blogging, don't take it personally okay. I still love you. I PROMISE I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU BLOGGING. MARRY ME BLOGGING? I'm not sure if the lackluster is kind of natural disaster related or maybe that lately I've been a bit distracted by writing some stuff to deadline for <a href="http://www.salient.org.nz/author/ally-garrett">Salient</a> or (to co-opt a phrase I saw <a href="http://blog.twowholecakes.com/2011/03/on-our-difficult-language-and-the-calling-out-of-same/">used</a> by the lovely <a href="http://blog.twowholecakes.com/">Lesley Kinzel</a>) I just have a case of "activism fatigue" and it's natural for these things to come in ebbs and flows. I just had to look up ebb in the dictionary (my dictionary of choice being Google, and therefore, not actually a dictionary) to see if it is a real word, and you know what, it is! Great. It means something to do with the sea in case you wanted to know. This is as technical as I'm getting. Remember, I'm feeling lackluster. I don't plan to write my my first blog in weeks on the inner workings of wave mechanics.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">When I first began writing this post my sister was up here in Wellington going to a different school, while she waited for hers to reopen, after the <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/christchurch-earthquake/">earthquake</a>. The extent of my blogging procrastination sees that my sister is now firmly back in the South Island and having to learn things in tents, which all sounds fairly traumatic to me as the closest I have come to camping is putting up a marquee last weekend. A very small marquee. To sell lolly cake out of. That I only really helped to put up. And I probably only really helped if you consider making jokes about 'pegging' to be helpful. I went to the school that my sister now goes to and I can tell you that the only good thing to come out of the earthquake was the sheer unadulterated joy that I felt when I saw this photo of the St. Margaret's College gym mid-demolition:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic1Yvwx3UWmbqMrYBOGbxtHr5KXqoAHs_M8JCEOQYhnD6ZLaobtUtvgDO-1fsvzBsiNqLWb8DjeuGgaVGkAFVodRnVbXLIik6aQ4MjxnRzr4vCHk2otLFR3B9v9cj4oheYMFUfLmtCIEEg/s400/gym.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590117515494386370" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">If I could have actually shown this to my chubby, awkward eleven year old self OR my eyeliner-ed, anti-social thirteen year old self OR my broken-legged-after-an-obstacle-course fifteen year old self all would have been alright with the world. I could have smugly sailed through those pointless gymnastics/trampolining/cricket lessons knowing that those barbarous PE teachers would get their comeuppance. DON'T WORRY ALLY, I would say, ONE DAY THERE WILL ACTUALLY BE A BULLDOZER IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS GYM. AND NOT JUST SITTING THERE EITHER, IT WILL BE DOING ACTUAL BULLDOZING WORK. THEY CAN CHAIN YOUR BODY ALLY, BUT THEY CAN'T CHAIN YOUR MIND. Fuck I hated PE. I've always been a vehement opposer of those who spout the saying that 'those who can't do, teach' but my GAWD I love saying that 'those who can't teach, teach PE'. How did I end up talking about PE? Deep seated psychological problems? I don't really know but while we're here any sanctimonious PE defenders in the house should probably go and read <a href="http://www.fatnutritionist.com/?p=3122">this</a> by the Fat Nutritionist. The beginning of <i>this</i> blog post however was supposed to be about my sister, who I assume is legitimately sad about the demolition of the gym because of her love of 'working out'. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">When my sister was here and she wasn't working out we decided to go to the movies on a Sunday afternoon. We ended up in that dismal movie no man's land where none of the movies you actually want to see start for at least 2 two hours so you have to go and see either <i>Gnomeo and Juliet</i> or <i>127 Hours</i> or <i>Conviction</i>. I vetoed <i>127 Hours</i> because I couldn't deal with 'that whole arm thing' and <i>Gnomeo and Juliet</i> was never really up for consideration, I just wanted you to really understand the MOVIE TIME DESERT in which we found ourselves. My sister and I decided to see <i>Conviction</i> due to my unwillingness to watch anything about amputation but also due to our mutual love of low brow, Jodi Picoult-esque suspense rubbish. <i>Conviction</i> is based on the Incredible True Story of Betty Anne Waters, a single mother who went to law school for ages and ages so she could become a lawyer and then try to get her convicted-of-murder brother <a href="http://www.innocenceproject.org/Content/Kenny_Waters.php">Kenny Waters</a> out of jail. The trailer is right <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrPtr0aQx3s">here</a> and you should probably watch it because I am going to talk about the movie for a little bit now. (IMDB <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1244754/">here</a> for those who are more text inclined.)</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/m7Nn2a_qDgQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">When I was watching the movie I had quite a nice mindless time, just the kind you want when you're watching some </span><span class="Apple-style-span">low brow, Jodi Picoult-esque suspense rubbish</span><span class="Apple-style-span">. Once, I caught myself wondering if the conversations between Minnie Driver and Hillary Swank meant the film passed the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLF6sAAMb4s">Bechdel Test</a> but mostly I found myself thinking about things like:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i>'Hrm, Hillary Swank's character has quite nice leather gloves clothes for a single parent lady putting herself through law school by working in an Irish bar at night.'</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL0K2Rg1eVeVzJ142Il_0c_BtQbWxxRqfyP_qOPGnX2VpuSGLlGETOyiD20HHesHjgTd7sliGMlQfJxDJV8Wk4dhUTohMK7YY3rd7fI9hU8UClGiINLiwCmfnzDXXEdGs2Iou-Nd1XNRMe/s400/leather+gloves.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590130018148678578" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 279px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i>'Hrm, my lips are a bit dry, I wonder where my lip balm is?'</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR6BsFZ0NIDnPVySjxYKLtGFAfn89Uq1GT7uQA0ktDt0quyPwt1L2m6YPRJV6ul6O3eEC2ZDPiO6Zj0PszO8zDG97fmengOd10WMZeD56016Mqtk55Etr_6eOCfTiRnnem7jcdl-8CEgfP/s400/Lucas-Paw-Paw-Ointment.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590130308913527314" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><i>'Oh look, that guy from the OC still has those great eyebrows!'</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm2B5oqPRYdxoeZoVvH9ybLQKzVqvmi080dDD-JyL7KdjtsJG8M3UpZatxdvhVhxE-_HStI8kmQnevZewufDgRUdgwwdYOY5WQUHQ0lHGFC0eFM_9Og70Myzong9udOSo5rE_x9ZfBryOh/s1600/eyebrows.png" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm2B5oqPRYdxoeZoVvH9ybLQKzVqvmi080dDD-JyL7KdjtsJG8M3UpZatxdvhVhxE-_HStI8kmQnevZewufDgRUdgwwdYOY5WQUHQ0lHGFC0eFM_9Og70Myzong9udOSo5rE_x9ZfBryOh/s400/eyebrows.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590130483864579954" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px; " /></a><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><i>'What should I eat for dinner?'</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKVchMd-ZejjlImdCqnHDAzwT6C2sKAIkfiY6sOl3q4j1uhfAr00SDMqMvtatkbJoi7CvdB0hucpcVB0C0nEd5Wy1YqlihDBmjRyQUAHFterSa_wrhQhJoKZLOvJ5WOSjGZ64VkjP-ND9C/s400/mallies+-+absolutely+ridiculous+burger.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590135253756129106" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 303px; " /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><i>'Man, I love Juliet Lewis.'</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-ViH-t5Sw0LF438C_Jq25uNH4eyJyS2W1ypdx3-rpT8ICQnuQmOtmSZGS20I8iofmNUz_J8_JSvrjYw8x-S2lvVDkXyWvjvdP-uG1eku9zKwnZMIvVHDyvqqIyisJvSQBpmj0WrtulJAq/s1600/juliette_lewis_483605a.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-ViH-t5Sw0LF438C_Jq25uNH4eyJyS2W1ypdx3-rpT8ICQnuQmOtmSZGS20I8iofmNUz_J8_JSvrjYw8x-S2lvVDkXyWvjvdP-uG1eku9zKwnZMIvVHDyvqqIyisJvSQBpmj0WrtulJAq/s400/juliette_lewis_483605a.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590130752619772338" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 264px; " /></a><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">And then the movie finished and I was pleased it ended the way I knew it would and I was totally ready to go and get my kumara fries but THEN my friends, and I'm really trying to build to a point here, THEN there was the epilogue and THEN there was the kicker, because during the epilogue I saw this picture of the real Betty Anne and Kenny:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizu37DFSKwYNzwxeQ3Q3Xk4QwlJWpH21n_DOjc5dr9xdGrrg8kAw4BAHdywDp5oCxDc03eYX8sI89rvYFqJ2Re5SG-c42JMM2khURGch7SBRWhtcw-aB9M0YPqdcMRUbBrxbxfisMsG346/s1600/KennylaughswithBettyAnne_Boston.com.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizu37DFSKwYNzwxeQ3Q3Xk4QwlJWpH21n_DOjc5dr9xdGrrg8kAw4BAHdywDp5oCxDc03eYX8sI89rvYFqJ2Re5SG-c42JMM2khURGch7SBRWhtcw-aB9M0YPqdcMRUbBrxbxfisMsG346/s400/KennylaughswithBettyAnne_Boston.com.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590132305546657426" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 260px; " /></a><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">And THEN I realised that I had been been watching a movie about a fat person without even knowing it. Surprise! This seemed really weird to me, especially because I thought that I was watching an Incredible True Story.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLq7yjiOmQ83sLN2hhYHmyHgW8gqX060b0mzmHdRsvMveiUAU_NyTWS_Jzs-M62tlWW7t4_P0uE8lOix9wGjcmM4d2nQZ-2J-hHhBB-_nfpESx0GkMzgnEg9I4xKiitVJO7zYwRagaeLy3/s400/incredibletruestory.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5591148266870470578" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 284px; " /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">This 'Incredible True Story' thing is kind of important. When you're watching an Incredible True Story the stakes seem higher. The fact that Betty Anne Waters the character decides to become a lawyer for her brother is so much more powerful because Betty Anne Waters the person actually became a lawyer for her brother. So it makes sense that this 'Incredible True Story' thing was amplified for the movie. Hillary Swank was cast, who looks <a href="http://www.google.co.nz/imgres?imgurl=http://media.sawfnews.com/images/Hollywood/Hilary_Swank_Betty-Anne_Waters_15Oct2010.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.sawfnews.com/entertainment/65493.aspx&usg=__yB7qO3cm4QF5XjFSvqo9nsD-Rrk=&h=315&w=480&sz=179&hl=en&start=0&sig2=13pUvdG-fFRfZlowqlUecA&zoom=1&tbnid=Km6IYcvS-O6QMM:&tbnh=119&tbnw=182&ei=JNOXTbGFIdHZiAKylJnjCA&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dhilary%2Bswank%2Bbetty%2Banne%2Bwaters%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26rlz%3D1C1AVSX_enNZ411NZ411%26biw%3D1366%26bih%3D600%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=225&vpy=313&dur=1179&hovh=182&hovw=277&tx=151&ty=174&oei=JNOXTbGFIdHZiAKylJnjCA&page=1&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:14,s:0">kinda</a> similar to the real Betty Anne Waters. She spoke with an accent. She wore a wig. The movie was <a href="http://www.annarbor.com/entertainment/conviction-story/">filmed</a> in Michigan in an attempt to recreate locations in Masachusetts, where Waters was initially convicted of the murder of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; ">Katharina Brow</span><span class="Apple-style-span"> . And while <i>Conviction</i> has been <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betty_Anne_Waters">criticised</a> for legal inaccuracies, the movie claims to tell the story of the real Betty Anne and the real Kenny. The film uses this realness, this Incredible True Story-ness, to its advantage. Tickets sell because everyone loves a biopic. Tears flow, because <i>this shit really happened</i>. So, you could say that it surprised me that Sam Rockwell was cast to play Kenny Waters. It surprised me because after all of these attempts at authenticity somebody must have made a concious choice not to cast an actor that looked like the real Kenny Waters. Sam Rockwell gave a really solid performance (and my friend Jean says he is a really great actor) but he looks like this:</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6-FRD9EVyMP5D_RN2Wc-I2FVzYfxpOxc-KlB_limRQByVBSjrApXxt3EXXXQIvGTgavbdcG8wHsCrVoRUjd9HVlqwmLYy-p9ZJgt_UblmT8GtXg4_6FmoRBV1UHDUWProOdnr_JxO_peX/s400/samrockwell.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5591158116514073842" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">And not like this.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuuTbhnIr_1J4M1qjNKKZK6KUJe48VdGB4Ssjj4VCcS7ikMBGF7QiI0sUVPQqwRy12CIz56UbqrvinXCvLKx0Kq6o2FhmoUbpkPgCDuTF5-TVVRDGQQxGJsHYeuaRE_MhdKSfZhQoXeE7O/s400/kennywaters.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5591157466393509666" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 354px; " /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I kind of want to know why this decision was made. I can speculate of course. Is it because Kenny in the film is kind of <a href="http://www.google.co.nz/imgres?imgurl=https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2ACONmG3BAH63igmwT_daTM7GZUHnNcxT-lrhNB1z8VQMbeTWnYZ1d4gIR3tapG3kaGxwQDmRFZwO2YVS9ZZD8RArSxxenlPnk_F85MY8mi2u_BEPgNnfYbHPzZ9gjFtGdZv3_im02BN4/s400/Vanity%25252BFair.jpg&imgrefurl=http://celebgossipjunkie.blogspot.com/2007/03/sopranos-on-vanity-fair.html&usg=__fM6DbLn8fXwd-3kZY1YmtH03K7U=&h=382&w=267&sz=29&hl=en&start=3&sig2=2NPv1d1PcPwkRYC2z87JDQ&zoom=1&tbnid=OrjOxR3dvpBWMM:&tbnh=123&tbnw=86&ei=cwGYTaHaOqjZiAL_24ydCQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Djames%2Bgandolfini%2Bvanity%2Bfair%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1C1AVSX_enNZ411NZ411%26biw%3D1366%26bih%3D600%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1">roguish</a> and<a href="http://bigboyfashion.tumblr.com/post/4266840534/loyalidiot-new-tshirt-2-wake-bacon-by-zach"> sexy</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_C.K.">charming</a> and we all know that fat people can't be any of these things? Is it because at one point, when Kenny is being sexy and roguish and charming, he does a little strip tease and we all know that nobody wants to see a fat person in any state of undress? Maybe Sam Rockwell was cast because the plot requires two of Kenny's girlfriends to give evidence in court, and obviously fat people are so undesirable they are never in relationships, <a href="http://love.twowholecakes.org/index.php?album=fat-love">ever</a>. Or is it because during the film Kenny is seen as being physically violent? Everybody knows that obviously a person's size must directly correlate to a person's strength, so therefore a fat Kenny would have been more threatening. Is it because a fat person would be less sympathetic? After all, the success of the movie really does depend on the viewer wanting Kenny to be released from jail and nobody likes a fatty. Is this enough though? Are the stigma and the stereotypes enough to justify casting Sam Rockwell and not a fat actor in a movie that claims to be authentic? A movie that claims to be an Incredible True Story? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">I've written <a href="http://iamoffendedbecause.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-went-to-see-play-on-saturday-night.html">before</a> about the total and complete lack of positive or actually even NEUTRAL representations of fat bodies in the creative media. I've read a lot about how the people that are presented in the movies and on the telly are the people that have the most power. So it makes sense that the people who I see the most of on screen are white, able-bodied, </span><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="http://www.deeplyproblematic.com/2010/08/why-i-use-that-word-that-i-use-cis.html">cis</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span">-men. But also,when I watch the movies and the telly I see mostly thin people getting the good story lines and thin people getting to play characters with agency and with flaws and with interesting lives. I see fat people playing a whole deck of miserable stereotypes: fat people who can't stop eating <a href="http://blog.twowholecakes.com/2010/12/dear-ryan-murphy-i-have-words-about-glee/">candy</a>, fat people who <a href="http://www.thevine.com.au/blog/clembastow/how-'winners-and-losers'-lost-me20110324.aspx">hate</a> their lives, fat people who can't stop eating <a href="http://www.doublex.com/blog/xxfactor/fat-girls-sure-do-love-their-donuts">donuts</a>. Of course, fat people should be able to eat whatever the fuck they want, including candy and donuts, but when two out of three fat girls on televvision at the moment have a humorous eating crutch... it's time to cry stereotype. Usually I attribute the lack of fat people in the media to the fact that writers and producers and advertisers and those with the mega producer bucks assume that people don't want to see movies or television programs about fat people. Therefore movies and television programs about fat people don't usually get made, and if they do fat characters are usually cast as the <a href="http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0016762/">best friend</a> or the <a href="http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0001019/">villain</a> or a main character who happens to provide <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1280822/">donut munching comic relief</a>. And I get that movies are sometimes supposed to be escapist and glossy and glamorous. People go to the movies and they want to sit in the dark and switch off and be somebody else for awhile. I do it. That's why we went to see the uplifting lawyer movie and not the uplifting chopping-through-your-tendons-with-your-pocket-knife movie. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">James Franco was cast in the pocket knife movie, and maybe I should be angry about this too. James Franco is a little bit more conventionally attractive than <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aron_Ralston">Aron Ralston</a> and this Hollywood-ising of people's stories is also about the glossy and the escapist and the eye candy. I <i>am</i> angry, a little bit, and I could write about my anger that so many movies give people unrealistic expectations of how they should look. I could write about my anger that being attractive is usually part and parcel of being a successful actor. But right now I'm too busy feeling furious at <i>Conviction</i>. </span><i>Conviction</i> was supposed to be about Kenny Waters, a fat man with a life story interesting enough to be made into a block buster film. But the stereotypes about the unsexy and the scary and the donuts are so pervasive that even REAL LIFE STORIES about REAL LIFE FAT PEOPLE are being told by thin actors. Stereotypes about fat people are leading to the erasure of fat stories. I don't think it's good enough. I'm sick of people assuming that I won't want to go to the movies and see people that look like me. I'm sick of people saying "it's just a movie" and ignoring how media representations prop up systemic oppression. I'm sick of it and I think that whoever made the decision not to cast a fat actor is a coward, because as the late, great <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heather_MacAllister_(performer)">Heather MacAllister</a> said:</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span">"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-style: italic; line-height: 24px; ">Any time there is a fat person onstage as anything besides the butt of a joke, it’s political. Add physical movement, then dance, then sexuality and you have a revolutionary act."</span></blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-style: italic; line-height: 24px; "></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I'm writing about <i>Conviction</i> because seeing that picture of Kenny and Betty Anne smiling at each other weirded me out. I was weirded out by the fact that just when I was trying to take it easy for an afternoon and just go see a movie about lawyers because SURPRISE THIS MOVIE IS ACTUALLY ABOUT A FAT PERSON. I can't escape the fat stigma and the body surveillance culture just for an afternoon. And no matter how lackluster I might feel at the moment about blogging, I can't escape from the political. Life is political. My body is political.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">[All images sou</span>rced from Google Images or screen capped from the YouTube Conviction trailer.]</span></i></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-62602299655625803002011-02-26T15:22:00.001-08:002011-02-26T16:03:53.681-08:00This Week<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >I lived in Christchurch until I was eighteen. There was a really big <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/christchurch-earthquake/4698487/Christchurch-quake-at-a-glance">earthquake</a> there on Tuesday. The death toll stands at 146 and around 200 people are missing at the time of my writing this. My dad was rescued from the collapsed Provincial Chambers building two hours after the quake, having spent the last two hours trying to keep his PA calm who had broken her back in the impact of the quake. When I learned about the collapsed buildings I was sent home from work and the hour I spent, detached and nervous and on an entirely different island, waiting for news about my dad was terrible. I'm really, really lucky that all of my friends and family are alive. A girl whom I went to school with has lost her fiancé, the father of her two children under three. The mood in Christchurch, and in Wellington where I live is understandably bleak. My grandma cries to me on the phone about all of the reporters she watched on the television every night for years, lost in the collapsed CTV building. My sister's best friend was given one minute to run into her house and grab her cellphone before it was demolished. Upon seeing my grandparents sitting in the dark, drinking long life milk and listening to the radio my dog fell to floor and cried for ten minutes. Both of the heritage buildings that my parents work in are in ruins. This explains my blogging silence this week because I sort of can't bring myself to post the trivial things I have been writing about. It seems heartless and tactless to post about offensive Facebook groups and insipid New Zealand television shows right now. I will again, in a few days, but I seem to feel guilty about everything</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: small; "> right now</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: small; ">.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7HHdJS1jYaU4DnFrcqn-TosZCWF35kg8fOs3Jt7t9OCH1EbM0xJTNdJPMSMgPOQOWXvPvELWHOhwCaD2lKrhKH5uZDR4IB29vSbNEzOEI-9CfGYkkgJEty-qbXog79QiIeHcSt70vwlVP/s1600/ashertraffordoffice.png" style="font-size: 16px; font-family: Georgia, serif; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7HHdJS1jYaU4DnFrcqn-TosZCWF35kg8fOs3Jt7t9OCH1EbM0xJTNdJPMSMgPOQOWXvPvELWHOhwCaD2lKrhKH5uZDR4IB29vSbNEzOEI-9CfGYkkgJEty-qbXog79QiIeHcSt70vwlVP/s400/ashertraffordoffice.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578147230196544642" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 268px; " /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" ><div style="text-align: center; "><span class="Apple-style-span" >[The Provincial Chambers building where my dad works. Photograph taken by Asher Trafford.]</span></div></span></span><div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >In the last week I've been to three plays (it's the Fringe) and one gig (my friend Bryony had a plus one) and turned twenty three and had a party (my girlfriend and I had already created the Facebook event and people seemed to need some kind of catharsis because we were noise controlled and the washing line fell down and a pole in our kitchen was broken) and at that party I danced to S Club 7 and the Rhythm of the Night and Blink 182. I've tweeted irrelevant things about lentils and I changed my girlfriend's Facebook status to read "Ally Garrett is the princess of the earth" when she left her profile logged on. I had a massage and ate Pizza Pomodoro and watched Zoo Babies and New Zealand's Hottest Home Baker and had sex (twice) and received gifts and went to work every morning and tonight I'm going to make cannelloni for tea and all the time I've been thinking about Christchurch. I can't stop feeling guilty no matter how much I tell myself, in the words of my friend Sarah, that self care is a radical act. I guess this is normal because I'm grieving for the city I grew up in, probably, and it least it means that I have thrown all my spare change into every Red Cross bucket I've seen and donated to the SPCA and Paw Justice. Kent, Stevie and I have taken tampons and deodorant and toilet paper and things to Wellington Women's Refuge, to re-balance the load, as there has been an increase in domestic violence in Christchurch since the earthquake. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWKRoiO1pwWfjSwGl3zxabOvFOQM68dkwG26ZEb-ZuJS_BKpoFyaCpCOcbuGNjdNAm92Yg3ZAtkQ-hSYxGKULncawGyQlM-bDTNswQMPXQtFptguGSGV-oeH5LahLpgnRc0oO3IfaJXmYZ/s400/ashertraffordoffice2.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578148488194402114" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 188px; " /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); ">[The other side of the Provincial Chambers. Photograph taken by Asher Trafford.]</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >In part, this post is selfish, because it feels wrong to write anything here without acknowledging what has happened. I've been humbled at the number of people who, at my suggestion, have donated the cost of buying me a birthday cider to the <a href="http://womensrefuge.org.nz/index.cfm?objectid=0CFAF4F1-1321-AE99-69A07811A67AD4FC">Women's Refuge</a> or to the <a href="http://www.spcacanterbury.org.nz/index.php?page=donations">SPCA </a>or to the <a href="http://www.redcross.org.nz/donate">Red Cross</a>. (These links will take you to websites where you can donate for readers who have any pennies to spare.) For those who want to know more about the earthquake for me it has been <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/christchurch-earthquake/4693057/The-day-the-earth-roared">this</a> piece of writing and <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2011/02/earthquake-in-new-zealand/100013/">this</a> set of (very triggering) photographs that have brought the magnitude of the disaster home for me. I know that life does go on and that soon, a return to as much normalcy as possible is important because in a way this means there is hope for the future. But for now, Christchurch, I am thinking about you.</span></div></div></div></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-8678276869804041422011-01-26T00:24:00.000-08:002011-01-26T01:02:33.407-08:00Tik Tok On The Clock But The Party Don't Stop, No, Especially Not With These Kinds Of Terrible Comments on Facebook<a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=kesha.png" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/kesha.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><div><span class="Apple-style-span">If I were you I would probably be more worried about waking up feeling like a misogynist, slur-using, sexual-behaviour-policing asshole but maybe that's just me.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">P.S. I have included some subtle iconography for you to work out how I feel about the person who left that second comment.</span></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-2753009639415810302011-01-21T12:27:00.000-08:002011-01-21T14:24:08.298-08:00I Appeared in a Play on Saturday Night<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg92cLmKLBxzA1XH9FhPGdMDl_hyphenhyphenV17gt7LmuwCmiGsxdvbTxvoJTWsSdPjVnOb35ciOEwORlmQE46nxJeT3Wfu9nWe689N11YfR8vNq5p5ZJ2wm6ez3j1lZ6d5-CGnNlA3kB6FAI4FA3nJ/s1600/ntf.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg92cLmKLBxzA1XH9FhPGdMDl_hyphenhyphenV17gt7LmuwCmiGsxdvbTxvoJTWsSdPjVnOb35ciOEwORlmQE46nxJeT3Wfu9nWe689N11YfR8vNq5p5ZJ2wm6ez3j1lZ6d5-CGnNlA3kB6FAI4FA3nJ/s320/ntf.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5564751549750965970" /></a><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" >The below post is written by Jonny Potts, the actor who played the 'morbidly obese' Galen Widders in the play No Taste Forever by Paul Rothwell, currently playing at BATS Theatre. I <a href="http://iamoffendedbecause.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-went-to-see-play-on-saturday-night.html">wrote about</a> the big fat related problems that I had with the show here and this is Jonny's response. Even though I don't agree some of the stuff he is saying, I still think it is pretty cool that he has written this and wants to further the discussion around the show. I think the comments could be a really good place to keep the discussion going. So good, in fact, that I am probably going to write one.</span></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18px; ">I appeared in a play on Saturday night. This is nothing new, of course, because I am GETTING OLD though intermittently FRESH and FREE-ISH if not as CREATIVE as I should be. I like to spend my time in the capital city sitting in cafes drinking beer and coffee and going to artistic events and immersing myself in CULTURE. The play was called <i>No Taste Forever!</i>. It was written by Paul Rothwell and it was performed at <a href="http://www.bats.co.nz/">BATS Theatre</a> and Ally had major problems with it. I am now going to write about it.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The first thing I would like to say is that I appreciate how Ally has gone about expressing her feelings about No Taste Forever!. She has not railed against the lot of us for putting the thing on, and in fact praised elements of the production. She's been kind to me in particular. It's easy, when something rubs you up the wrong way, to dismiss the kit along with the kaboodle, and I would like to acknowledge her even-handedness in dealing with an emotive issue. And look, she's giving me the space on <i>her own blog</i> to throw in my two cents. I appreciate the opportunity to post here a great deal, as I was at the centre of an experience which left her feeling so disappointed in another space where she felt at home. So, thanks for the trust, Ally. I am going to disagree with you over some things, and I am going to defend the play. Of course, I'm too close to the show to offer an objective take on it, so I am not going to address whether or not the production is worth anyone's time or money. Having said that, y'all should come down to BATS and see it, because it's not going to get a DVD release. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I apologise if this response seems scattershot. I had to write it in snatched moments between work, play-acting and the little extramural eating I am doing over these couple of weeks. I really hope that in my haste I have not said anything which offends. I am aware that some may consider defence of a production which features a fat suit an indication of the systemic marginalisation of fat people which Ally cites in her post. I do not want to be seen as someone siding with the people responsible for <a href="http://www.zazzle.com.au/no_fat_chicks_tshirt-235298470961614659">this</a> or <a href="http://www.ahajokes.com/ym01.html">this</a> or <a href="http://www.cholosaurus.com/random-stuff/fat-people-are-funny.html">this</a>. So let me denounce all that shit right now, and acknowledge unequivocally that there is indeed a problem with the way bodies are presented in the wider media, and it causes real damage to people. I am not comfortable that something I am doing is being seen as a continuation of this prejudice. I am not active in the fat acceptance movement, nor very familiar with its history or goals, but from the little I have read I find myself in agreement with its principles. I do feel a bit out of my depth posting on a blog which is read by people with more knowledge of the field. So, if you consider my arguments to be naive or wrongheaded, please point that out, dear reader. I have no desire to have the last word on the matter. </div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">OK, I'm going to take a look at some of the points raised by Ally. I suppose I should <b>SPOILER WARNING</b> this.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Though he can be an insufferable blowhard, I am with critic Robert Hughes on this: the role of art is not solely to enlighten. Art's primary function is not to change society for the better. Peter Brook's Manifesto for the Sixties contends that 'no work of art has yet made a better man'. I am not saying that it is impossible for art to have a positive effect on the world or individuals, but art need not<i style="text-indent: 0px !important; "> always</i> do good. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Mention was made in Ally's post of the predictable roles for females in No Taste Forever! I was surprised to read that 'dead child' is now considered a predictable, 'yawn'-inducing role for women to play. Then there are the 'lesbians'. The two lesbian characters in No Taste Forever! are lesbians and... well, that's that. Their sexuality is not an issue in the play, merely present. It certainly does not serve to titillate the audience, nor does the play encourage condemnation. But let's consider the representation of men also. A husband and father so consumed by his profession that he neglects his wife and son. A psychopath. An arrogant cock. Yawn? Perhaps. We are dealing with <i>types</i> here, not realistic, fully rounded characters. The types stand in for various issues the play raises, much the way things worked in MINGE, where the type identification was taken a step further. In this play, as in most of Rothwell's work, NOBODY comes off looking good. He's an equal opportunity annoyer. With Rothwell, you get an awful lot of agitation, but not much propaganda. His plays angry up the blood and refuse to ease the mind. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">At the end of NTF!, Malcom's magical pill is just an idea without form, an ideal which seeks to deal with a problem by eliminating it entirely. John Smythe's review raised problems with the pill solution, and was right to. I mean, it wouldn't work and people wouldn't want it. Rothwell isn't seriously suggesting <a href="http://www.slate.com/BLOGS/blogs/cleanplate/archive/2011/01/05/can-t-you-just-get-your-nutrients-from-supplements.aspx">we find a pill to replace all food</a>. he is presenting a character so overwhelmed by food that it's the only way out of the whole mess he can see. <a href="http://www.nbr.co.nz/article/theatre-hate-crimes">Hate Crimes</a> <wbr>and <a href="http://www.theatreview.org.nz/reviews/review.php?id=2306">The Blackening</a> also end with characters essentially throwing their hands in the air. All three endings <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrC7KRDy3w8">hint as hope, but are largely </a><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrC7KRDy3w8">resigned to helplessness</a>. The problems are just too big, and too much blood has been shed. NTF! is the first time Rothwell has had a play end with the hope/hopelessness cocktail being <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gb0mxcpPOU">presented to so many</a>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><span><div style="text-align: justify;">Ally writes that NTF! was '<span style="line-height: 18px; ">a play that demonised food and that vituperated the audience about their eating habits'. Yep, it surely demonised food, and it dealt abrasively with various attitudes towards food. Food is presented as an antagonistic force and nobody has a healthy relationship towards it. NTF! plays on people's fears about not just obesity, but allergy, eating disorders, manners, ethics, medication and sundry other related issues not by <i>exploring</i>them as such, but by having them collide into each other inside a dramatic framework. Rothwell does not want to solve anything. He wants to scare you.</span><span style="line-height: 18px; ">Ally writes, '[m]ostly, my problem is that in a play about food and food issues, the crying and the KFC were the <i>only</i> depiction of fatness, thus rendering fat as a problem that needs to be solved'. She is right to say that Galen is the only representation of 'fatness', but it is an extreme form of 'fatness': a man who is one chocolate thin away from death. His problem needs to be solved, or it is going to kill him. And the problem is not that he is merely fat, it is that he is supremely unhealthy. Again, EVERYONE in this play comes out bad. EVERYONE has a 'problem that needs to be solved', and nobody can solve any of them. It's not a nice play and it is not supposed to make anyone feel proud of anything. If there was a representation of fatness on stage and there was<i>no</i> problem attached to it, it would seriously fuck with the dramaturgy. In NTF! <i>anything</i> to do with food is problematic. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18px; "><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18px; ">Fatness isn't inherently funny, no, though <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jo_Brand">many fat performers</a> </span><span style="line-height: 18px; "><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oliver_Hardy">ha<wbr>ve given us lots to laugh at</a> </span> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Candy">over the years</a> <span style="line-height: 18px; "> </span>, often <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Belushi">using their size</a> as an integral <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatty_Arbuckle">part of their act</a>. There is a cultural familiarity with the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus">jolly fat man</a>. However, Galen does not really fit this, he is more of a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pierrot">sad clown</a>. In playing the part, I do try to elicit some sympathy from the audience, not just have them laugh at the fat man. When I was talking with director David Lawrence about the play a few months ago, I said I would be keen to play Galen (I read the part at the play's first airing in 2008), and pointed out that there is really <i>nobody</i> big enough to play him. Even if we had used a <i>very</i> fat actor, the actor would not have been fat enough. If he was fat enough, he probably would not have had the ability to play the part. Galen is not merely fat, he is so fat he is on the verge on death. If a fat actor should have been employed, which one? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The crux of Ally's post, as I read it, is that this is the straw that broke the camel's back. After being exposed to many negative depictions of fat people in the wider media, here was one in the place she felt at home, and it made her uncomfortable in her own skin. Am I able to say that I respect both Ally's reaction and the rights of Paul Rothwell to write what he did? I am not a fat activist, but I think the world might need them. I am not a <a href="http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2007/03/08/1173166892076.html">controversial</a> <wbr>though <a href="http://www.listener.co.nz/issue/3577/artsbooks/12326/golden_boy.html">celebrated</a> <a href="http://www.playmarket.org.nz/bookshop/order_a_script/_author/id_3389/rothwell_paul.html">playwright</a> but I think the world might need them too. To quote an Assange-themed cartoon posted elsewhere on Ally's blog, 'See how I can think both things without my head exploding?'</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I would also like to point out that there are actually very few 'fat jokes' <i>per se</i> in the script. Something that might qualify is this exchange, in KFC:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;">GALEN: Come here often?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">PETRUS: What? No.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">GALEN: Me either.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">PETRUS: You look as if you have.</div></blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It's worth noting here that the character of Petrus, a former chef whose taste buds have been ravaged by an surfeit of marching powder, is a dick. He's a nasty, nasty fuckhead and the playwright has him killed in the final scene. I don't think anyone mourns his death. The scene in question shows a character we know to be mean and destructive taking a cursory glance at Galen and judging him for his size. He then snubs him, precipitating the crying-into-the-chicken moment to which Ally took exception. The way I read the scene, we are supposed to feel sympathy for Galen as he is being judged unfairly at face value. He is socially inept largely because when he tries to connect people can't see past his size. This is a pretty tragic way to live your life, and a phenomenon with which I would imagine those in the fat acceptance movement are familiar. When Galen cries it is not supposed to make the audience laugh, and it doesn't. It is the moment in performance when I feel most connected to the audience, despite the fact my head is buried in my hands. The injustice is up there on stage. It is then compounded by a further humiliation. It is tough to watch because the audience actually cares about Galen. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I do think it does the play a disservice to equate the fat character with the laugh-at-me-I'm fat types <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEIfHrwrSVU&feature=related">portrayed by Eddie Murphy</a>. Having discussed the KFC scene, I'd like to shed a little more light on the other scenes Ally mentions early in her post, not to deny that they happen or are uncomfortable to watch, just to give them their proper context:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18px; "><i> '[T}he same fat man, whimpering in the foetal position, lying on the floor in a nest of junk food wrappers'</i> - This is a murder attempt by food, which we learn later in the play is attempting to enslave the human race. Galen says that the food <i>'won't let me stop stuffing it in'</i>. He is in a victim of, as the marketing material has it, <i>'an insidious force'.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18px; "><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18px; "><i>'[H]e carries with him a bag of sweets, a bag that eventually explodes because it is so jam packed with candy</i>' The bag does not explode because it is overstuffed with candy, the candy jumps out as part of its evil plan to knock Galen off. Yes, food is demonised. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18px; "><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18px; "><i> '[T]he fat man being so socially inept that all he does at a birthday party AND at a food festival is eat, continuously and voraciously?'</i> The food festival first. Galen makes his way to the festival, resolves to abstain from eating and is then overtaken by the 'insidious force' which hisses 'DIE WITH US! DIE WITH US!' at him before he is overtaken once again. Galen is present at the birthday party because he is trying to escape the force in his fridge. When he arrives at what he hopes will be sanctuary he is overtaken by the force again. This has nothing to do with him being 'socially inept'. He's kind of like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damien_Karras">Karras</a></span><span style="line-height: 18px; "> in The Exorcist, targeted by an evil, supernatural force. Unlike Karras though, there is still some hope for Galen at the conclusion of NTF! </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18px; "><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18px; ">Galen is not standing in for <i>every</i> fat person. He is so unhealthy he is nearly dead. There are examples elsewhere in the play of characters who do not eat <i>enough</i> and suffer the consequences. Rothwell has taken fears about food and given them form. The play is fantasy. The idea of food operating as some kind of hive-minded supervillain is really quite silly. It is not healthy to demonise food in life, but there is nothing wrong with satirising that rather widespread tendency in a play. And that is really what this is at the end of the day: a satire on our preoccupation with food. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18px; "><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18px; ">People bring their own experiences and opinions into the theatre with them. Anyone with a strong or particular experience or interest in obesity, bulimia, allergy, anorexia, comfort eating, organics, body image or, for that matter, <a href="http://news.google.co.nz/news/search?aq=f&pz=1&cf=all&ned=nz&hl=en&q=toddler+killed+driveway">children who have been run over and killed</a></span> is going to have a keen reaction to various parts of the play. The play certainly challenges the notion that 'every body is a good body'. Is Daryl's body, which is mathematically fed and exercised, really healthy? What about Fliss, who eats every second day and subsists on Lucozade and multi-vitamins until she gets 'the faints'? Sonya is convinced she is growing a tumour due to her ingesting fertiliser so only eats oragnic food. Petrus has no sense of taste. Baby Emma's delicate frame is crushed. And food has pushed Galen's body to the brink of expiration. Health of bodies and body image are themes in this satire, and the plays joins a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdOnUtHamko&feature=related">long tradition of art</a> which plays on <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuapyExYJBI">fears we have</a> about our <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QLwESXs1ig">bodies being beyond our control</a>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18px; "><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18px; ">There is a play to be written about acceptance of bodies in all forms, but this isn't it. What this play does, among other things, is draw attention to prejudice and fear around the way people view bodies. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 18px; "><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I'd like to thank Ally again for giving me the platform to talk about how something I'm doing on stage has affected and could affect people. It's not often an interest is taken to such an extent in anything we do at places like BATS, and Paul certainly wanted to get people talking about the issues raised by the play, even if those issues are in fact the ones he can be seen to have neglected. The thing about Ally's post which I found most unsettling was the idea that Ally did not consider BATS her place any more as a result of a part I played. There is no reason that one play should have any effect on how anyone sees the venue. BATS is still Ally's, but it is also Paul's and David's and mine. It was not the intention of this production to vilify fat people. In rehearsal Galen was never held up as a figure of fun, and the playwright is quoted in the Capital Times expressing affinity with him. I hope those who found the play unsettling will find something of value in the wider discussion. </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>[Image credit: Photo taken by Vanessa Fowler Kendall, and sourced from the Bachanals Facebook <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=145321438855088&set=a.145321252188440.26252.135772063143359">page</a>.]</i></div></span></span></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-61904812884953614212011-01-18T18:35:00.000-08:002011-01-18T12:35:13.379-08:00I Went to See a Play on Saturday Night<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "><span class="Apple-style-span">I went to see a play on Saturday night. This is nothing new, of course, because I am YOUNG and FRESH and FREE and CREATIVE. I like to spend my time in the capital city sitting in cafes drinking soy milk and going to artistic events and immersing myself in CULTURE. The play was called <i>No Taste Forever</i>. It was written by Paul Rothwell and it was performed at <a href="http://www.bats.co.nz/">BATS Theatre</a> and I had major problems with it. I am now going to write about it.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "></span><span class="Apple-style-span">After seeing the play I was unsure about whether I was even going to do this ‘writing about it’ thing. I've got problems with the script but I definitely do not want to minimise the hard work that those on stage have done and are doing. My whole heart, every fucking-last-ventricle, goes out to every single person involved in organising the full throttle, on-stage food fight that ends the play. I wasn't going to write about it but then after the show my beautiful, warm-as-the-very-best-oil-heater friend Jean and her boyfriend Jackson came over for a drink. Jean and Jackson were in </span><i style="font-family: arial; ">No Taste Forever</i><span class="Apple-style-span">, and we drank cider and we talked about the show in the delightful company of Stevie and our wonderful friend Hannah. We had a really great discussion, with Jean and Jackson making some great counter arguments in defence of the production. When Jean was leaving she encouraged me to write about the play, and put into words some of the things we had been saying. So a thank you must go to Jean because as well as being as warm as a heater, she’s as supportive as a very expensive bra. I think I have to write about </span><i style="font-family: arial; ">No Taste Forever</i><span class="Apple-style-span"> because it was the depictions of fatness in the show that I mostly had a problem with. And like, that’s my thing. It feels cowardly to shy away from writing about. It would feel even more cowardly not to write about it because dear friends of mine were involved in the project and because the Wellington theatre community is small. So, I’m writing. Here goes nothing.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></div> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Imagine, for a second, the very worst possible depiction of fatness that you can.</span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; ">I’m serious, I want you to imagine it.</span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; ">Go.</span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; ">I’m not kidding.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; ">Make like John Lennon and imagine.</span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Are you imagining a fat man sitting at a table, eating KFC and crying? Because, in <i>No Taste Forever</i>, it happened!</span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: small; ">Are you imagining the same fat man, whimpering in the foetal position, lying on the floor in a nest of junk food wrappers? Because it happened!</span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Are you imagining the fat man to have so little self control that he carries with him a bag of sweets, a bag that eventually explodes because it is so jam packed with candy? Because, you know what, that happened too!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Are you imagining the fat man being so socially inept that all he does at a birthday party AND at a food festival is eat, continuously and voraciously? Because it happened!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Are you imagining the fat man dribbling a huge gob of spit, just at the sight of a table laden with party food? Because, you can bet on your nanny, that it happened as well.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">It happened, not even in some kind of fantastic and deliberate parody of how fat bodies are usually portrayed, but as a major part of the story line. I want to stress, at this point, that my problem wasn't at all with my friend Jonny Potts’ portrayal of the ‘morbidly obese’ Galen Widders. Jonny is a beautiful actor, and his liquid-gold voice was wasted in this role. He did a good job with an absolute shocker of a script. At first I thought that I wasn’t even particularly offended by Galen. Galen was merely just one little part of a show where the most obvious and the most stereotypical of food clichés were left unpacked and unexplored. In <i>No Taste Forever</i> vegans are so militant they wear camo pants; male bulimia is a joke and a food replacement pill is seen as a pragmatic problem solver, a cure not just for world hunger but for obesity as well. My girlfriend also pointed out how tired the female roles were in the show – a nagging mother, a dead child, a power hungry anorexic, a sexed up temptress, and two lesbians; one socially inept and the other a breaking-and-entering psychopath? Yawn.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">It was a play that demonised food and that vituperated the audience about their eating habits. Surprisingly, mental health wasn’t touched on in this play about food issues. No real effort was made to explore how mental illnesses can manifest in over eating and under eating and comfort eating and obsessive eating. And like, eating issues are serious. I am a great believer in the importance of comedy as a tool for social change, but I really don’t think that the use of a fart soundtrack for an anorexic character quite cuts the mustard. My problem is not, necessarily, that <i>No Taste Forever</i> featured a fat man, crying over his bucket of fried chicken. This has probably happens, all the time, in many KFCs all over the world. Plenty of fat people hate their bodies and then don’t eat nutritiously and they have an unhealthy relationship with food, just like many thin people hate their bodies and don’t eat nutritiously and have an unhealthy relationship with food. As I’ve said before, many times, on this blog: weight can be no real indicator of health and the concept of ‘eating rubbish and not exercising’ needs to be separated from the concept of ‘being fat’. Lately I’ve also come to realise that health shouldn’t be a prerequisite for respect. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Mostly, my problem is that in a play about food and food issues, the crying and the KFC were the <i>only</i> depiction of fatness, thus rendering fat as a problem that needs to be solved. My other problem was that <i>No Taste Forever</i> was performed by a thin to average sized cast, and the ‘morbidly obese’ character was played by a thin to average sized man in a fat suit. I wish Director David Lawrence had made more interesting choices when casting his show, to deliberately contrast the fat hatred inherently present Rothwell’s script. I wish he had cast more fat people. I wish he had cast a fat person. I wish he had cast a fat person in another role to contrast with Galen. I wish Ms. Chocolate had been played by a beautiful fat woman, as some kind of fabulous food goddess. When I was talking to Jonny about this he confirmed that there was even a line in the script about the ‘voluptous-ness’ of Ms. Chocolate. My hankering for Ms. Chocolate to be played by a rad fatty has nothing to do with Jessica Aaltonen’s lovely performance in the BATS production. It’s more that I think a fat Ms. Chocolate would have shown that fat isn’t the enemy, and that Galen’s problem was not his fatness, but instead his troubled relationship with food. And BEE TEE DUB, Galen's character was wearing a t-shirt which read <i>'More of Me to Love</i>'. Pretty sure that Galen was crippling-ly lonely and self hating, so I can't really imagine him wearing that kind of t-shirt. Way to make light of his mental health issues and insult the fat acceptance movement all in one foul swoop! (I'll have it after the play is over though, if you like.)<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Wait, did I just say fat suit up there?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Ah, fat suits. Is there a word combination that raises my hackles more than the word ‘fat’ when teamed with the companion of ‘suit’? I mean, as soon as I see ‘Extra Sauce’ + ‘$1.00’ or ‘Product’ +‘Discontinued’ or ‘National’ + ‘Party’ I start to get hot and bothered. But fat suits, man. They really rile me up.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I can’t think of fat suits without thinking about these ladies:<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdypYp2Cu3Vk3_vzWSRFMakAe6PUMpdI6-K4yT_j2_yyTU-rp-lgISsua8MLw7Pe-pML5cIHMqD2-_JD6v4T3dFQTykidLeldEMmVFtCsDONxofDUtm39lzY9pmobBAKxhoCo3s0qddvI3/s320/fatsuits.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563358255710323890" style="text-align: justify;display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 243px; " /></span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></span></div> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Or about this:<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR-InhA_J_0dlOZLtEKPweLNpNhPtqlRYjFM_KJPVVWrOTZDczcm-UlnABLluVFCG-JFNPHtKPvRel8Nza-a3LkB_S6VZth867wSEsiCxhKfoWhJHGY3YgY5s6eTqK599MCjE675psy3JM/s320/norbit.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563358550695904114" style="text-align: justify;display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 233px; " /></span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></span></div> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Or about this:<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRA3mb31RJkCUzNMSCSLnqW1Re8DSJIyP1aPWjIhwYSDQxeRzkB7ZcHH4OxMt_RR5ThAPibJc3CFpz-rO5lo-ZjqKeTBWaB2g5W3I9vPeYJp_0B0q0lIo69iXOZRcA1VHl3Vg_t49AdNIW/s1600/mike+meyers.jpg" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRA3mb31RJkCUzNMSCSLnqW1Re8DSJIyP1aPWjIhwYSDQxeRzkB7ZcHH4OxMt_RR5ThAPibJc3CFpz-rO5lo-ZjqKeTBWaB2g5W3I9vPeYJp_0B0q0lIo69iXOZRcA1VHl3Vg_t49AdNIW/s320/mike+meyers.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563358819578367826" style="text-align: justify;display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 224px; " /></a></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">And now, I have this fat suit to add to my collection.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span class="Apple-style-span"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig2OlG_ynS2W7emv-LNQTCEtEkbiuZ2Jbk6W6xtI3o4lYOLpq_ktf5VCLUWJvzC_tlxFvejJYGsz3nQsUFzhCJhKlAHtqibFeEC5IcKGIG1894efH9s3tzsaThvdph7QhUtggr-v7nolLz/s320/jonny.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563360181845915138" style="text-align: justify; display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px; font-family: Georgia, serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; " /></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">A collection that I’ve built up over the years of watching things and realising that dressing thin actors up so their bodies look more like mine is supposed to be a joke. I can see that sometimes fat suits might be useful, perhaps when a thin performer is so brilliant and well suited for the part that nobody else on the face of planet could ever play that particular role. Or when the director wants to create some kind of distance between the action and the audience, like casting a white person as Othello or using an all female cast. Mostly though, when I see a fat suit I just want to scream one and/or the other of these two things:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt; "><!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span">1.<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span><!--[endif]-->FATNESS ISN’T INHERENTLY FUNNY!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt; "><!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span">2.<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span><!--[endif]-->CAN’T YOU JUST CAST AN ACTUALLY FAT ACTOR, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE?</span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; ">I think that what bothers me most about <i>No Taste Forever</i> is that possibly up until I walked into the theatre and saw Jonny crouching there in his fat suit, up until that very moment, I had thought of BATS as being my space. I realise that this is a little self indulgent and that squillions of theatre makers and theatre lovers and theatre haters have thought the same thing about the very same theatre, and hopefully squillions more will continue to do the same. I don’t even really consider myself to be a ‘proper’ theatre maker, especially because I’m terrible at devising. I’m more of a ‘one show a year actor’. But BATS just feels like mine. I’ve laughed in the audience and I’ve cried in the audience and I’ve also had to stuff my whole fist in my mouth in the audience, in case I sobbed so loudly it disturbed the performers. It’s the place that I’ve witnessed some of the best acting I’ve ever seen, with Sophie Hambleton’s Katy and Erin Bank’s Helen and Jonny Pott’s Friar all immediately coming to mind. It’s the theatre that I made a New Year’s resolution to act on the stage of, and then did that, the very same year. I’ve eaten countless Phoenician kebabs and Deluxe sushi rolls in the dressing rooms. I’ve touched up my lipstick a thousand times in that bathroom mirror. I’ve been useless at many a pack in and many a pack out, and so have ended up cleaning that dressing room toilet, every single time. The best-slash-definitely-worst of these cleaning experiences was when I cleaned menstrual blood off the toilet seat during <i><a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/M-I-N-G-E/109567925767168">MINGE</a></i>, and I thought to myself LONG LIVE FEMINIST THEATRE. I’ve drunk the bar dry of cider. I’ve attempted to drink the bar dry of house sav, and probably made a fair dent in the stocks of Emersons Pilsner. I’ve been fingered in the toilets there and I’ve been to a Saatchi and Saatchi planning meeting and if I’m feeling sad or lonely I know I can just go to an opening night at BATS because it will remind me of how many wonderful friends that I really have.</span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">So there I was, sitting in the back row, amongst an audience tittering at a plethora of fat jokes. Jokes mainly centered on how lazy and ugly and unmotivated and weak and socially inept and uncoordinated fat people are. Not on Channel Two or in the YouTube comments section, but performed on the stage at BATS. A place where I thought that I was safe; where I thoought my body was safe. It sucked. I was bitterly disappointed, especially at how this play was affirming to the audience that it was acceptable to laugh like this at fat people. Before I went into the show I counted the number of fat people lining up for tickets, just in case I was terribly offended by the show or so bothered by the fat suit that I wanted to write about it and I needed some kind of point-making statistic. Always Be Prepared and so on. There were at least eight other fat people in the audience with me. During those fat jokes in </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "><i>No Taste Forever</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "> I wasn’t just thinking about my body, I was thinking about their bodies as well. I’ve spent the majority of my life trying to feel positive about my body and in the last eight months or so I have been actively concentrating on trying to nourish my sense of self worth. I consider myself part of the fat acceptance movement, for fucks sake, and during that show I felt uncomfortable in my skin. I don’t know whether those audience members have read about </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "><a href="http://www.salon.com/life/excerpt/2009/01/24/kate_harding">reclaiming</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "> the word fat or heard about </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_at_Every_Size">Health At Every Size</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; ">. I hope they have. I hope they know, that as my friend Jessica </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "><a href="http://tangledupinlace.blogspot.com/2010/12/fat-body-invisible.html">said</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; ">, every body is a good body, no matter what it looks like.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I was offended, during <i>No Taste Forever</i>, yes, but I think it’s about something bigger than that. It’s about how the constant slew of media representations make people feel about their bodies, and the cycle of self loathing that eventuates. I will never understand, as long as I live, why some people think that shaming fat people helps anybody. Fat people end up hating their own bodies, and why would anybody want to love and nurture and strengthen something they hate? It’s not just about me being offended, it’s about how, en masse, these kinds of representations are actually just fucking damaging.</span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Because it’s never about just that play or that one movie or that one advertisement. It’s systemic. It’s about how every villain in every book ever is described as having a ‘puffy face’ and it’s about how tired the weight-as-a-metaphor-for-greed thing really is. It’s about being ten years old and Camryn Manheim clutching her Emmy and proclaiming “This is for all the fat girls” and feeling like she was talking directly to me. It’s about how Tiggie Tompson loses the weight at the end of <i>The Tiggie Tompson Show.</i> It’s about trying to think of positive representations of fat bodies on screen and asking whether Sooki off <i>Gilmore Girls</i> can really count, because she’s a chef, and you know, can we really keep counting Roseanne Barr, because it’s 2011 now and if the millennium isn’t even considered new anymore then how can TV shows from the 90’s still be relevant? It’s about the headless fatties in infomercials. It’s about how there will never be a fat Juliet.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I wasn’t able to pick up a programme when I was at BATS, as they were fresh out, but in John Smythe’s <a href="http://www.theatreview.org.nz/reviews/review.php?id=3598">review</a> of the show, he writes that in the programme Rothwell has claimed that “<i><span class="apple-style-span">the play is really about hunger – hunger for control, hunger for compan</span>y</i>.” Interesting. I’ll tell you what, Paul. Fat people are hungry. We’re hungry for representation. Fat actors are hungry for parts to play. We’re hungry to be depicted in any way that doesn’t depict us as slovenly or unattractive or as the butt of the joke. We’re hungry to turn on the television or go to theatre or pop down to the movies and not be told that we<span class="apple-style-span"> ought to hate our bodies. And we’re not just peckish, Paul. We’re fucking starving.</span></span><span style="font-family:"Cambria","serif";mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font:major-latin"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i>(Edited to add - Jonny Potts, who played the 'morbidly obese' Galen in the show will be writing a guest post in response to this piece. I am really excited about this, so make sure you check back in a couple of days.)</i></span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i>[Image credit - No Taste Forever photo taken by Vanessa Fowler Kendall and found on the The Bachanals Facebook <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=145321575521741&set=a.145321252188440.26252.135772063143359&pid=206686&id=135772063143359">page</a>. Images of Monica/Gwyneth and Mike Meyers found <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/galleries/901/1/?redirectURL=http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-10-29/celebrity-fat-suit-club/">here</a> at The Daily Beast. Image of Eddie Murphy found <a href="http://www.google.co.nz/imgres?imgurl=http://farm1.static.flickr.com/184/383896295_86c4b2e401.jpg&imgrefurl=http://blackheadband.blogspot.com/2007_02_01_archive.html&usg=__KmJ3gg5r-G8PLSKISuem9mYgszg=&h=364&w=500&sz=107&hl=en&start=30&sig2=0b0vv9taB_HzJmG-Fqj1Hg&zoom=1&tbnid=Abh9b_7F-mZ5dM:&tbnh=164&tbnw=244&ei=ka40TZKECoj6sAPEvID7BQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmonica%2Bfriends%2Bfat%2Bsuit%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26rlz%3D1C1AVSX_enNZ411NZ411%26biw%3D1366%26bih%3D667%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=167&vpy=294&dur=692&hovh=178&hovw=244&tx=218&ty=41&oei=Pa40TaywKJCosAOdw9nCBQ&esq=2&page=2&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:30">via</a> Google Images.]</i></span></p>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-90478250387701271012011-01-09T17:26:00.000-08:002011-01-08T21:10:42.904-08:00An Ode to Hate on a Sunday Afternoon<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWWeTXHx5_zIxkbvGzMYX39nTCUC1MbJSt0aXEK_NrDL5RoT9DfaVhX0K2ul8gefRHdGE2hfSPTBA_H8zwgXLqz7wL-OM4jIQUr44qXw5mzYZB3jA2ygGZdmQVt1OUXy8Pn2nYzDFXGIBB/s1600/haterade.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 271px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWWeTXHx5_zIxkbvGzMYX39nTCUC1MbJSt0aXEK_NrDL5RoT9DfaVhX0K2ul8gefRHdGE2hfSPTBA_H8zwgXLqz7wL-OM4jIQUr44qXw5mzYZB3jA2ygGZdmQVt1OUXy8Pn2nYzDFXGIBB/s320/haterade.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560031986322700946" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: small; ">I hate lots of things. I'm not even ashamed of it.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">I hate organised fun, including cards and board games and team building activities and team sports. I hate savoury muffins and savoury scones, and actually I hate muffins in general because they are just ugly cupcakes. I hate when people try and put sweet toppings on bread, because BREAD IS A SAVOURY FOOD. I hate when people use the word 'Kiwis'. I hate when people use the word 'Aussies'. I hate the Air New Zealand Rugby World Cup safety <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f1awn9vBZE">adverts</a>. I hate Jetstar even more than I hate Air New Zealand. I hate when people tell me to 'check out' something, because I will more than likely NEVER CHECK IT OUT if you use that phrase. I hate it when beauty products are discontinued. I hate dried fruit and fruit cake and marmalade and jam. I hate the Phoenix Cola that is flavoured with honey. I hate when restaurants don't have a chocolate flavoured dessert. I hate mixed berries and blackberries and black currant and sometimes blueberries, because obviously the raspberry is the queen of berries. I hate when things are raspberry and white chocolate flavoured, because it is such a fucking waste of raspberries and WHY CAN'T YOU GIVE ME THE REAL CHOCOLATE. I hate wearing a cotton top AND a cotton skirt. I hate not having enough condiments. I hate getting charged extra for condiments. I hate when people put celery in potato salad. I hate it when there isn't enough feta. I hate the rubbery stalky bit on portobello mushrooms. I hate shittake mushrooms. I hate sow crates. I hate that rapey Christmas song 'Baby It's Cold Outside'. I mostly hate the Simpsons and I fucking hate Family Guy and I hate animation. I hate Science Fiction. I hate the Big Bang Theory (the show, not evolution). <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><em style="font-style: normal; ">I hate when people say that 'hate is a strong word' because that is the fucking point, actually. </em></span>I hate that Ben Harper song about stealing kisses. I hate Paul Henry. I hate John Key. I hate the rain. I hate noisy construction work. I hate buskers. I hate camping. I hate tramping. I hate the outdoors and usually I hate scenery because I maintain that it's just rocks and water (and I could look at that from inside thank you very much.) I hate adventure tourism. I hate when cafes don't have hollandaise and I hate paying extra for soy milk. I hate moths. I hate <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><em style="font-style: normal; ">Matthew McConaughey and Kanye West and Jennifer Garner. I hate outer space. I hate top sheets. I hate bok choy. I hate the noise that skateboards make. I hate the new lids on super pump drink bottles. </em></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">And I fucking hate this fucking billboard.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifquCiV4y6F_Z4HKkrFz21ACoIeUR3jOwOkgbZmuej5WyqOT9BG3lAo2SsDA9QZk3fTafhFKLCoKHyCQ7P4jPxbtUGPfvJEx0kJtT6kSWkdvpHNXbfzKvgkRLNgMzmadEvgBCYGpGIoR13/s320/DSC00890.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560012154860313474" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">I am fucking unimpressed with this billboard. It makes me want to use all kinds of ableist language (like stupid and lame and idiotic) that I am really trying not to use anymore.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_kZoeOtkTZBY03pC-oMCJVZHMmK6CmfWe-GiWe7YaI_IZK9JXUXyj9AvBXa_oY-wtRe3BLbI3YQom_Fe-L4l7AwhU4_pz4VkLN4so3a-jkL5ojxlcwcG0Rf1p5kufm-iBAbK-qody8MJC/s320/DSC00892.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560013666665284114" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">This billboard also makes me feel violent, which isn't exactly helpful.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvpKnabIdSTKYebfCxyYKJq1W5nX-HznVvp7buOp3aZdWqnNoYdJmEOS_wIU8Ft4v2SIXxdB1vYx4jn6j-SE4OjV5b4q41qkwxo0t9ea-POCD-MoBvhf3Ld8i1FFtigYXD2yPbX6MWZDXj/s320/DSC00891.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560014655334134114" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px; " /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">This billboard (or whatever you call an advertisement placed in one of these weird shell things) makes me want to run straight to the dairy and buy a pack of Malboros so I can chain smoke them all in a row, even though I haven't had a cigarette in like, two years. I do not care about your relationship criteria <i>at all</i>, Ido Drent. I don't want to be your girlfriend. THE VERY SLIGHT POSSIBILITY THAT ONE DAY YOU VERY WELL COULD MAYBE BE THE GIRLFRIEND OF A B-GRADE CELEBRITY IS PROBABLY NOT GOING TO MAKE ANYONE GIVE UP SMOKING. I am insulted that this would be considered such a valuable prize. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">I get that <a href="http://www.smokefree.co.nz/">Smokefree</a> has already advertised about health benefits and lung cancer and tongue cancer and throat cancer and second hand smoke and saving money and gangrene and heart disease and the tobacco industry and every other fucking thing under the sun and that people are still smoking and it is their modus operandi to get less people smoking, so they tried something new with the <a href="http://www.notourfuture.co.nz/">Not Our Future</a> campaign. Fine. Mostly. That advert where the celebrity-who-I-can't-remember complained about cigarettes being kept beside the milk was kind of annoying, because anyone who has been into a dairy ever knows that they're actually in pretty different parts of the shop. Like, nobody keeps cigarettes in the fridge. But that's cool, it even seems like the campaign might have been <a href="http://www.hsc.org.nz/publications/SNOF-evaluation-phone-survey-fnl-081218.pdf">kind of</a> successful. Which is good, I think. (Even though I'm kind of confused about where I stand on the anti-smoking lobby, because obviously smoking isn't great and tobacco companies are manipulative, lying, terrible, money-hungry fuckers and that information should be circulated so people can make their own choices BUT often those adverts are really patronizing and some of the BAD FOR YOU rhetoric comes uncomfortably close to a lot of the obesity panic rhetoric, and I really don't think that health should be a prerequisite for respect. Oh wow, that sentence is long. I just thought about deleting it. I'm not going to though, I don't think, because isn't stream-of-consciousness-writing very popular and doesn't it give you a valuable insight into my brain on a Sunday afternoon?) </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">What was I saying? Oh yeah. Ido Drent. Smoking. Girlfriend. Get to the point, Ally. Advertising to young ladies about how they would be more dateable and girlfriend worthy if they gave up smoking? I hate it. Placing so much cultural currency on relationships? I hate it. Assuming that every girl wants to be in a relationship with Ido Drent? I hate it. Three of the Not Our Future adverts with themes about relationship-criteria-slash-increasing-your-dating-potential-slash-smoking-is-a-turn-off adverts being aimed at girls and only one being aimed at boys AND all of them being predictably heteronormative? I hate it. I can think of a million reasons to give up smoking, if you want to, and Ido Drent isn't one of them.</span></div><div><br /></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-53431784744874298052011-01-03T23:27:00.000-08:002011-01-02T21:15:57.529-08:00A New Year, And A New Sweet Bitch of the Week<span class="Apple-style-span"><blockquote></blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;">Hi internet! It's 2011 now. How is that working out for you? Mine is okay so far. I wore leopard print to a barbecue on New Year's Day but also my girlfriend and I had a fight over a pineapple, so as Robbie Williams would say: win some, lose some. Did you make any New Year's resolutions? I made a couple, but I like to call them New Year's <i>aspirations. </i>At best this sounds more encouraging, but I guess at worst it also makes me sound like a commitment-phobic flake. Case in point: Getting my learner driver license has been on the list of aspirations for the last seven years. While we're on the subject, how weird does it sound when you say learner driver license? I wrote "getting my learners" initially but then I realised that this might not make sense for my <i>international readers</i>. (Yes, I actually have some. This is not wishful thinking. A girl from Ireland even sent me an email once.) So while I might not know how to drive, at least I know how to comprehensively write about my experience of not knowing how to drive. Thank God for that. Thank you Bachelor of Arts degree! </div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Anyway, my aspirations. I made some. Some of them deliberately achievable (read at least twelve books) and some of them are hopeful (spend some time outside of New Zealand) and some of them are inane (spill less food on my clothes) and there is one that is worth writing about outside of parentheses. So, in 2011 I aspire (not resolve, mind you) to be more like Sady Doyle. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">This is a photo of Sady Doyle, who come hell and high water, deserves the title of Sweet Bitch of the Week. This is a photo that I found <a href="http://www.thedailyfemme.com/femme/2010/06/interview-with-sady-doyle-writer-and-expert-on-ladybusiness/">here</a>, where there is also an interview with Sady, so that's nice isn't it. More words! For you to read! On the internet! </span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=sadydoyle.png" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/sadydoyle.png" border="0" alt="sadydoyle" /></a></div></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">Sady Doyle has been one of my blogging heroes for awhile now. She writes for the blog <a href="http://tigerbeatdown.com/">Tiger Beatdown</a>; a blog which was once recommended to me as being "actually feminist" because I had been lamenting (read: complaining) at the downward spiral of Jezebel, a downward spiral where they now give me advice about how to keep my (non-existant) suede shoes clean and where they actually posted <a href="http://jezebel.com/5691871/american-guy-in-paris-freed-from-the-idea-of-consent">this</a>. Sady writes electrically, and she has written things that have punched me in the gut, like <a href="http://tigerbeatdown.com/2010/03/24/13-ways-of-looking-at-liz-lemon/">this</a> and <a href="http://tigerbeatdown.com/2010/06/22/dirty-girls-and-bad-feminists-a-few-thoughts-on-i-love-dick/">this</a>. I mean, she even writes compellingly <a href="http://sadydoyle.tumblr.com/post/2463225596/who-picked-the-name-hektor-was-he-named-after-anybody">about</a> her <i>dog</i>, okay. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">But (segue alert!) as well as being a really great writer, Sady Doyle started a twitter protest, using the <a href="http://support.twitter.com/entries/49309-what-are-hashtags-symbols">hashtag</a> #MooreAndMe, in response to comments made by Michael Moore and Keith Olbermn about the legitimacy of the sexual assault allegations made against Julian Assange. For the uninitiated, there is a brilliantly thorough recap of events over <a href="http://millicentandcarlafran.wordpress.com/2010/12/21/why-mooreandme-helped-and-how-twitter-busted-twelve-straw-men/">here</a>, with lots of screen caps and links and documentation of the trolling that went down. For those who are under time pressure there is also a briefer recap <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2010/dec/28/michael-moore-mooreandme-twitter?CMP=twt_gu">here</a>, published on the Guardian. I don't really want to write about the actual events of the protest, because the internet has done that. So if you want more background information, </span><a href="http://tigerbeatdown.com/2010/12/15/mooreandme-on-dude-progressives-rape-apologism-and-the-little-guy/">here</a> Sady's initial post on #MooreAndMe, and <a href="http://tigerbeatdown.com/2010/12/19/mooreandme-five-days-and-running-run-it-all-the-way-down-a-timeline-of-relevant-quotes/">here</a> is a timeline of events written by Sady and <a href="http://tigerbeatdown.com/2010/12/22/mooreandme-and-then-he-came-down/">here</a> is the so-moving-I-cried-at-my-desk post that she wrote after Moore and Olberman eventually apologised. If you're interested in any further reading on I highly, highly recommend Kate Harding's fantastic <a href="http://kateharding.info/2010/12/18/why-im-on-board-with-mooreandme/">explanation</a> of her involvement with #MooreAndMe; Marianne Kirby's <a href="http://www.therotund.com/?p=1069&cpage=1#comment-27521">critique</a> of comments made by Naomi Woolf and the <a href="http://mymilkspilt.wordpress.com/2010/12/09/who-hears-you-when-you-speak-about-rape/">commentary</a> at Spilt Milk about rape talk and the WikiLeaks allegations. If I worked at Borders these three blog posts would be the books that I would stick little 'Staff Choice' stickers on, and write little notes about how they are important and about how they are worth your money or the click of your mouse or whatever. Jessica Valenti has also done a pretty great #MooreAndMe link round up <a href="http://jessicavalenti.com/2010/12/20/read-what-i-read-round-up-on-assange-mooreandme-and-naomi-wolf/">here</a>, and for any readers unfamiliar with the term 'rape culture' I give a similar Borders type endorsement to <a href="http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/10/rape-culture-101.html">Rape Culture 101</a>, published at Shakesville.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">As well as not wanting to write about the actual protest, I'm also not interested in talking about whether Julian Assange is guilty or about how <a href="http://jezebel.com/5715624/assange-ive-never-had-a-problem-before-with-women">creepy</a> he is or the <a href="http://jezebel.com/5718817/assange-sweden-is-the-saudi-arabia-of-feminism">stupid</a> things he said about Sweden or about the substantial merits of WikiLeaks itself, because really, the internet has <i>done</i> this as well. Well and truly. My feelings on the subject can pretty much be summed up in this <a href="http://www.conniptions.org/">Conniptions</a> comic:</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=rapeculture.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/rapeculture.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">And this tweet by Feminist Hulk:</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=feministhulk.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/feministhulk.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I'm more interested in talking about the bravery and the tenacity and the dogged persistence that Sady showed in keeping that fucking hashtag going. Because Sady didn't just it, she fucking kept at it. For days and days, up against Michael Moore's silence and up against Naomi Of-All-People Wolf coming out and <a href="http://studentactivism.net/2010/12/20/naomi-wolf-on-julian-assange/">saying</a> <a href="http://www.democracynow.org/seo/2010/12/20/naomi_wolf_vs_jaclyn_friedman_a">that</a> it isn't rape if you penetrate an unconscious woman and up against some of the worst, vitriolic, triggering, slut shaming, victim blaming trolling that I had ever seen on the internet. And by talking about it, by lauding her efforts, I don't intend to minimize the harm or the considerable emotional distress that Sady incurred over the course of the protest and probably will continue to experience. Because she wrote about it, and she wrote about getting death threats because of it, and that shit is fucking terrifying and celebrating her as my feminist hero doesn't make it any less terrifying or upsetting. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">The reason, though, that I apsire to be more like Sady Doyle this year is because I tweeted that fucking hash tag like three times and then I gave up. And one of those times, one out of those three fucking times, was a self-servicey tweet I sent yesterday (long after the hash tag had pretty much died) looking for the link to <a href="http://millicentandcarlafran.wordpress.com/2010/12/21/why-mooreandme-helped-and-how-twitter-busted-twelve-straw-men/">that</a> comprehensive #MooreAndMe recap for this very blog. I mean, could I make this tweet more about me if I tried?</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=recap.png" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/recap.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">The main reason that I gave up tweeting to that hash tag was because of the trolls. Even my stupid, weeks-too-late, narcistic tweet looking for a link did not go un-trolled. </span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=cuntspasm.png" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/cuntspasm.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></div></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Yeah. Be careful trawling the internet this week folks, because when you are looking for a link it means you are having a cunt spasm. So like, be careful in public places or whatever. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Weeks later, there are still trolls hanging around that hash tag, looking to frighten and deter and silence those who believe that all rape allegations should be taken seriously, and if that isn't rape culture then I don't know what is. Before this, maybe about three days into the protest, back when Michael Moore still hadn't apologised and when things were looking dire I sent a tweet to Michael Moore (MMflint is his Twitter name) under the #MooreAndMe hashtag. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=noapology.png" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/noapology.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">And this tweet was trolled as well:</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=goldensceptre.png" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/goldensceptre.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">And all of a sudden, I just couldn't fucking be bothered. So I didn't tweet to #MooreAndMe again, apart from when I needed a link, because I couldn't be bothered.. I couldn't be bothered tweeting to the hashtag anymore and I couldn't face dealing with rape apologism and mansplaining and a patronising cockwipe telling me that I needed to 'learn' about rape from Julian Assange and that because I am a woman and I felt passionate about something, I therefore must be having a cunt spasm. I didn't have the emotional strength to deal with it, even though I knew that GoldenScepter had <a href="http://millicentandcarlafran.wordpress.com/2010/12/21/why-mooreandme-helped-and-how-twitter-busted-twelve-straw-men/">ADMITTED</a> to deliberately trolling the hashtag and even though I really wanted to support Sady Doyle and even though I really fucking care about giving rape/sexual assault victims a voice. And Assange and WikiLeaks and #MooreAndMe is inherently linked to giving those victims a voice, because in the <a href="http://tigerbeatdown.com/2010/12/17/sexist-beatdown-until-this-frenzy-of-hooey-and-anti-rape-activism-is-stopped-edition/">words</a> of Sady herself:</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px; "><blockquote>"No matter what the actual truth of the Assange case may be, the effect this has on women who are raped is profound, and profoundly terrible. Because it teaches them that, if enough people like your rapist, it is literally unsafe and unacceptable for you to report your own rape."</blockquote></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px; "><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px; ">So the reason that this year I aspire to be more like Sady Doyle is because she kept going when I gave up. It isn't because she started the hash tag in the first place; it's because she didn't stop. And this year, I want to be more like Sady. I don't want to stop. And so, I end the first post of a new year through the immortal genius of not the Bay City Rollers, but of Sady Doyle.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px; "><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px; "><blockquote>"That’s the most important lesson of #MooreandMe, for me, the most important take-away: The next time something is this fucked up, and we feel like we have to fight it, we will. The next time we feel like we have to fight something, we will know fighting can make a difference. The chief thing #MooreandMe gave me, the girl who started out a week ago just writing an irritated Tweet and then eventually hearing a “thank you” from Michael Moore, was faith in the idea that activism can change things."</blockquote></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'helvetica neue', helvetica, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; ">[Quoted from <a href="http://tigerbeatdown.com/2010/12/22/mooreandme-and-then-he-came-down/">here</a>.]</span></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-36465542398679620282010-12-08T14:36:00.000-08:002010-12-08T16:00:07.307-08:00Some Grossly Indulgent Self Promotion, And A Story Called Gross<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEIiN3S-TwC-TvjalkokfJmaoA0qGhOdlJaKkrCU2ZvkMNt_JGF3VuSjK8MvwGCB8ooF7PsFQitDnfhuqnXDtiEzjCMLjDmyHdlJEg1fP2zTrG9ZSRayRObgQHbd3OhqIEqlztcpnszyD4/s1600/minge-a-zine.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 229px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEIiN3S-TwC-TvjalkokfJmaoA0qGhOdlJaKkrCU2ZvkMNt_JGF3VuSjK8MvwGCB8ooF7PsFQitDnfhuqnXDtiEzjCMLjDmyHdlJEg1fP2zTrG9ZSRayRObgQHbd3OhqIEqlztcpnszyD4/s320/minge-a-zine.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548454699995083282" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span"><i>I know. I know. I'm sorry. This blogging business has just gone out the window, what with the working and the minging and then being in <a href="http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=174341292581976">another show</a> at the same time and the talking about the vulvas on <a href="http://www.3news.co.nz/Minge-The-play-for-women-by-women/tabid/368/articleID/188581/Default.aspx">national television</a>. But in the words of a Abraham Lincoln, this too shall pass, and the week after next is going to be some kind of mecca of eating dinner at normal times, doing the washing and seeing if my girlfriend remembers me. In the mean time I'm going to post this story here, a story called Gross. Gross is from The Minge-A-Zine: A Collection of Women's Writing, and it is full of the stories written by the women in <a href="http://minge.co.nz/">MINGE</a>, and their friends, which we collected as part of the devising process for our play, <a href="http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=173370702673301">MINGE: A Celebration and Interrogation of Womanhood in New Zealand</a>. Gross is one of 31 anonymous stories in the A4 zine, which has edited by yours truly, designed by Kimberley Berends and illustrated by Hannah Smith and Erin Banks. (Although <a href="http://jemshed.com/">Jem Yoshioka</a> did our front cover art.) Basically, I'm blathering on about the zine because you can buy it! We have a <a href="http://minge.bigcartel.com/">shop</a>! That sends things overseas! Three exclamation marks must mean that it's an exciting time. If you don't live in Wellington it is a cool way to support this thing I have been doing, and if you do live in Wellington you should pop yourself onto the waiting list for our remaining three performances and buy a zine in person at <a href="http://www.bats.co.nz/">BATS Theatre</a>. </i></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><i>----------<br /></i></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-style: normal; "><span id="internal-source-marker_0.8876240341924131" style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">There are some things my body does that I think are gross. </span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; background-color: transparent; "></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">I find it gross to smell a pair of tights when I take them off after walking to work and sitting in a chair all day and then walking to Kelburn and going to a meeting and then having ten beers at the pub and then dancing to Patti Smith. Those are bad tights. Those are only-can-be-worn-once tights. Well I put them in the washing machine and then wear them again but I mean they are "can’t-be-worn-consecutively-at-all-ever-tights". I find it gross, or sometimes grossly funny, when I eat gluten and fart all night. I find it gross when I eat beetroot and haloumi from Aro Cafe and my poo turns purple and my piss turns pink. Vomiting is gross. Diarrhoea, or as my dad calls it, die-horry, is gross. Underboob sweat and the milky smell of a well worn bra is gross. Squeezing a blackhead so it emerges like a triumphant maypole between my tits is really gross. Sneezing and getting drippy snot on your collar is gross. Squeezing an infected ear piercing, morning death breath, period blood clots in the bath and greasy hair are all gross things.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; background-color: transparent; "></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">There is something else that my body does that is not gross. </span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; background-color: transparent; "></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Female ejaculation. </span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Squirting. </span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Gushing pussy fluid. </span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Girl cum</span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Vaginal geyser. </span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; background-color: transparent; "></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">The first time this happened to me I was eighteen. I was in town with my friend Sam and we went home with two Australian DJs. As I said, I was eighteen and I feel like now that I am twenty two and wizened and bitter and skeptical I would be less inclined to believe that anyone was a DJ, but he had an Australian accent and he was staying in a hotel on the strip in Christchurch. He bought me a martini, drained the glass and then kissed me with the alcohol in his mouth. I thought it was sexy. Their hotel room had two double beds. Sam and I had sex with our maybe-DJs metres away from each other. When the DJ was fingering me, he said ‘You like that, your legs are shaking’. Thanks, I thought. Thanks, Captain Obvious.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; background-color: transparent; "></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">I liked it so much that I squirted. There was a wet patch on the thin hotel sheets and I thought I had peed everywhere. The maybe-DJ said “Fuck, maaaaaaaaaan, this bed stinks like pussy.” I was humiliated. When I was leaving I couldn’t find my new Elle MacPherson undies. If I saw the maybe-DJ now I would thank him for introducing me to something awesome. Something that he thought was gross.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; background-color: transparent; "></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">The fluid is not urine. It’s not regular wetness. It smells different and it feels different. It’s more like water. For me this happens more regularly now, but not on command. Sometimes it just seems to drop out. Sometimes it’s tiny little spurts. Sometimes it gushes and I feel it warm and wet on my stomach. Sometimes it’s a couple of table spoons. Sometimes it’s cupfuls and the sheets have to be changed and the bed has to air dry. It happens with G Spot stimulation, usually just before I come. I can’t really do it by myself because my arms aren’t long enough to reach inside me. My girlfriend says that first she needs to touch my G Spot, and then she has to fuck me really hard.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; background-color: transparent; "></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">I do think that usually when ladies squirt in porn they might be peeing, because like I said, I can’t just do it on a whim. It looks real in queer porn though, especially when Jiz Lee squirts all over her girlfriend’s face and she loves it. I also think, from extensive internet research, that it isn’t something that all women can do. So nobody should feel bad about not being able to do this. Anatomies are really different. Just look at people's ears. Sex is not a race. Squirting and orgasms are not prizes. </span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; background-color: transparent; "></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">But what I think the problem actually is here, is that people don’t talk about this shit. Scientists haven’t figured out what the fluid is, but they think it is from the Skenes Gland. Some tests have shown the fluid is like semen, but without the tadpoles. Maybe scientists should stop pissing around looking for planets and doing studies about everything that mothers do to fuck up their children, and they should hang out more with vaginas. Apparently not very much is known about women’s bodies because women are way less likely to donate their bodies to science when they die. So maybe now, when I die, I will donate mine under the specific clause that my gushing pussy should be investigated. I hope I live to a really old age and it makes my children smile when they have to negotiate that with the coroner or the funeral home or whatever.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; background-color: transparent; "></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Some people think that female ejaculation is a myth. I think they can come and change my sheets. So talk about it.. Gush about gushing. I shouldn’t have had to fuck an Australian maybe-DJ to find this out about my pussy. </span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; background-color: transparent; "></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Sometimes, when my G Spot feels awesome and then I get fucked really hard, I’ll squirt everywhere. This is awesome. This is not gross. If you think it is gross then you are an idiot.</span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-style: normal; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; "><br /></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-style: normal; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">------</span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-style: normal; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; "><br /></span></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; background-color: transparent; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap; ">Minge-A-Zines are available for purchase on our <a href="http://minge.bigcartel.com/product/minge-a-zine-2010">Big Cartel site</a>. NZ$7 for those in New Zealand, and NZ$10 for those who live on faraway shores. I was going to take a picture of me holding the Minge-A_Zine for further self promotion purposes, but I can't really be bothered putting a bra on. Sorry. I will save this for another day.</span></span></div></i></span></div></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-73822171848401561092010-11-03T18:35:00.000-07:002010-11-04T19:28:50.700-07:00The Fury and the Furiously Busy<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: small; ">Despite writing a blog about being offended, and therefore living in a state of near-permanant rage, it is not that often that I get <span style="font-style: italic; ">really</span> angry. This <i>really</i> angry being the kind of seething anger where you feel sick and you can't see and nothing can be done about it, as opposed to my usual rage daily rage that can usually be cured by drinking wine and ranting with my friend Sarah, or by writing a furious email or buying two different types of cheese. <a href="http://iamoffendedbecause.blogspot.com/2010/10/eff-you-peter-carlisle.html">Peter Carlisle</a> was definitely one of those times that I felt that seething kind of anger. Another time was when my baby sister's Spanish teacher told her that she needed to watch her repuation after she kissed a boy who was not her date at the school ball, because "Christchurch is a small place" and "boys don't like easy girls". Another time was when year or so ago a friend said that <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caster_Semenya">Caster Semenya</a> ought to be competing in the Special Olympics. I think if he said that now I would probably question what it was about my able-bodied privelege that meant I thought that was such a degrading insult. Still, I don't think that not quite fitting into an arbitrary gender binary is enough to classify a person as being disabled.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Another time that I felt that kind of anger was when I first saw this:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=hymengel.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/hymengel.jpg" border="0" alt="hymengel" /></span></span></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">An advert for Hymen Gel. I can't remember whether I first saw it on <a href="http://myfavoritesexistads.tumblr.com/post/1250919460/scrunchygel">this</a> tumblr or <a href="http://thehumorlessfeminist.tumblr.com">this </a>one, but either way I felt the rage. My first reaction was the this-is-completely-fucking-ridiculous rage. My vulva is not a fucking hair tie. I don't reach for a vagina to fasten my top knot, and a vagina is not my first port of call to keep hair out of my face. But then the real rage started to set in. Rage about a culture that values virginal women, and a culture where companies exist to make money out of women who are paranoid about the tightness and the aesthetic appearance of their genitalia. Rage about a culture that values a woman for the tightness of her vagina, rather than her knowledge or abilities or experience. I also felt a smidgen of the THIS-IS-SO-MEDICALLY-INACCURATE rage, because the vagina is a fucking powerful muscle, it is not a 'use it three times and then leave it in the bottom of the shower' type of situation. And speaking of medical rage, this shit can not be good for you. These kind of products work by causing SWELLING and IRRITATION. If I get thrush from even looking at an antibiotic, I hate to think what these kinds of products do to self cleaning lady ovens.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">But through the searing anger, I wondered whether this advert could even be real. So I did some googling. I found the advert listed on the <a href="http://adsoftheworld.com/media/print/hymen_tightening_gel_scrunchy">Ads of the World</a> website, made for the <a href="http://www.salemdrugstore.com/">Salem Drug Store</a> by the <a href="http://partnershipme.com/image/index.htm">Classic Partnership Advertising</a> company, in Dubai. I also found the Hymen Gel website, with the following mission statement:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><blockquote style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">"We provide high quality services to pharmaceutical, nutraceutical, Parapharm-aceutical and cosmetic industries in the Middle East region. We cover wide range of niche products from gynecology, skin care and pediatrics."</span></span></blockquote></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And then, I felt I swiftly began to feel uncomfortable about my rage, becase Hymen Gel because is a Middle Eastern product and it was a Middle Eastern advert. I felt uncomfortable for heaps of reasons. I felt uncomfortable because I don't want to sound like some white saviour, hypocritically banging on about the oppression of Middle Eastern women while my culture oppresses women in a whole pile of different ways. I might not be able to buy Hymen Gel at the Cuba Street Pharmacy, but waxers and plastic surgeons are making a mint out of Western pussy shame. I feel loathe to comment on a culture that is not my own, and a culture that I have not lived in, because I can never possibly understand the many nuances and practices and traditions and feelings. The best case scenario would be that I would inevitably end up resorting to stale stereotypes about Muslim women, and the wost case scenario would be some kind of Samantha in the market place in the second Sex and the City movie type situation. I can't deny my white privilege when I'm talking about this stuff. I can't deny that I have absorbed some of the media's fearful portrayal of Islamic culture, but I can try and unpack some of this stuff. <a href="http://muslimswearingthings.tumblr.com/">Pictures of Muslims Wearing Things</a> is a good place to start. One of my first thoughts upon learning the origins of Hymen Gel was about how the stakes are higher in the Middle East, because in New Zealand women are not stoned for adultery and going to the doctor to get a Certificate of Virginity before you get married isn't the done thing. And while this might be a valid point, these are simplistic thoughts. For a start, there HEAPS of different countries in the Middle East, each with different value systems. These are thoughts that <i>other</i> another culture, while ignoring the systemic oppression in my own. There are millions of Muslim people in the world, and I'm pretty sure that every Muslim woman doesn't feel like she has to use Hymen Gel.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I am still furious that Hymen Gel exists. I am furious at EVERY culture where women are ashamed of their genitalia, and where the abstract concept of "virginity" is prized. I am furious that companies exist to manipulate the shame that women feel through advertising, and profit from these cultural ideals. But I am a hypocrite. I have paid my own hard earned cash for a Brazilian wax. I trim my pubes. I am not immune to pussy shame. But is the hymen gel advert just an equivalent to this?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XQGlwYuF6aU?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="250"></embed></span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I also wanted to say, dear readers, that I apologise for the lack of posts here lately. It is not due to a want for inspiration, because I've been offended quite often recently, but for lack of time to blog about it . Forty hour working weeks (with a promotion starting soon) and rehearsing evenings and weekends for the play I am in is turning me into a psychopath. A psychopath with very little time to blog. A psychopath who only has time to eat crackers all day and who then admonishes her considerate girlfriend for making baked beans that are "too salty".</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Here is the poster image for the show, MINGE:</span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=MINGEPOSTER.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/MINGEPOSTER.jpg" border="0" alt="minge poster" /></span></span></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And while I'm at it here are some links to our Facebook <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/M-I-N-G-E/109567925767168">page</a> and our <a href="http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=173370702673301">event</a>, because if you live in Welllington you should come and watch. Another the reason that I've been really busy is that I have been making a zine to accompany the show, subtly and amusingly titled The Minge-a-Zine. The zine features all of the stories that we wrote and collected from our friends during the rehearsal period, in our attempt to to define and investigate womanhood, and it will be available for purchase for $6 at the show. If you don't live in Wellington, but you would like to purchase a copy of the scene you should email me, and I will post some more details here within the next week when the zine hits the printers. If you don't care about my play or my zine and you just want to read my furious rants on the internet, this blog will be back to normally scheduled fury in December. I can't wait to tackle all of the great-slash-rage-inducing things that you guys are submitting, because the most frustrating thing is not having time to write about the stuff that I want to write about. Like, I couldn't even write a post about the Marie Claire <a href="http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/overweight-couples-on-television">thing</a>! (Luckily though, Lesley Kinzel wrote a <a href="http://www.fatshionista.com/cms/index.php?option=com_mojo&Itemid=69&p=579">really great one</a>.)</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Until next time I will leave you with this picture of me, taken as part of a MINGE <a href="http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=15734&id=109567925767168&page=4">photo shoot</a>.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=allyfat.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/allyfat.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></span></span></a></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">[MINGE Photographs taken by MINGE photographer Vanessa Fowler Kendall. The hymen advert photograph was definitely 100% <b>not</b> taken by Vanessa Fowler Kendall.]</span></span></i></div></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-60264293077803045202010-10-15T04:38:00.000-07:002010-10-17T12:58:31.582-07:00A Sweet Bitch of the Week: The Grandmother of Orgasms<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">So I thought that it could be time for another Sweet Bitch of the Week post around here. A Sweet Bitch other than all of the awesome ladies who organised the </span></span><a href="http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/protests-target-court-abortion-case-3819016"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">abortion</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><a href="http://nzpaimages.co.nz/events.php?event_id=11022"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">protest</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> last week. The protest that I was actually able to attend because my boss read my hysterical-slash-impassioned </span></span><a href="http://iamoffendedbecause.blogspot.com/2010/10/eff-you-peter-carlisle.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">blog</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> on the subject and gave me a couple of hours off work. Come to think of it, my boss actually would have been a pretty good candidate for Sweet Bitch of the Week. It was a really, really great protest. There was chalk. And hoops. And way more than the reported "50 people" in attendance. Thanks for nothing TVNZ. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=hoops.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/hoops.jpg" border="0" alt="hoops" /></a></span></div><div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" >[Edited to add that for more photos and an excellent demo report you should head over to </span><a href="http://thehandmirror.blogspot.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" >The Hand Mirror</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" > where Maia has written an </span><a href="http://thehandmirror.blogspot.com/2010/10/no-more-jumping-through-hoops-belated.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" >excellent rally report</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" >, including photos and </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Em5ArlNjoI&feature=player_embedded#!"><span class="Apple-style-span" >this video</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" > that Pro Life NZ took of the protest. Possibly for their spank bank?]</span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; ">
<br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">It was really awesome how many of you commented on that post. I was so heartened and encouraged by all of this feminist power in my city, a city that is usually powered by roti chenai and icy rain, that I was like the Energizer Bunny. If the Energizer Bunny ran on riot grrl and zines and protests and pro choice camaraderie. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">But yes, I hear you loud and clear dear readers. Get on with it and get to the bit about the orgasms, you say. Your wish is my command, because we are gonna talk about sex therapist </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betty_Dodson"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Betty Dodson</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">, who has probably had more orgasms than you or I could shake a stick at. It is Betty who taught me about the real meaning of being sex positive and my nether regions will be eternally grateful, so I thought it might be time for me to spread the love and for you to spread your legs. I'm just going to nab this little introduction to Betty's work from an excellent interview with Dr. Lori Buckley; a podcast and transcript of which can be found </span></span><a href="http://personallifemedia.com/podcasts/218-on-the-minds-of-men/episodes/2831-liberating-masturbation-betty-dodson-ph"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">here</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">. Buckley says:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; "><i><blockquote style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Betty is known for liberating masturbation, for hands-on women's workshops, showing women how to love their vulvas, enjoy masturbation, and how to become orgasmic. Betty is also known for her many books and films which include the books "Sex for One", "The Joy of Self-Loving", and "Orgasms for Two: The Joy of Partner Sex". Her films include "Viva La Vulva" and "Orgasmic Women: Thirteen Self-loving Divas".</span></span></blockquote></i></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=bettydodson.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/bettydodson.jpg" border="0" alt="<span class=" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" /></span></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br />I love Betty. I can't remember whether I introduced her website to my girlfriend, or whether she introduced her website to me, but Betty is one of our mutual loves along with fried cheese and Christina Ricci. I want you to fall in love with Betty as well so I'm going to make a little list of eleven reasons why you should love her and why she is my Sweet Bitch of the Week. This is quite possibly the most mathematical that this blog is ever going to get, so lap it up numerical nerds! A word to the wise and to those who like to stay employed, these thinks are probably fairly unsafe for work. </span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">1. I just actually love the way that Betty talks about sex. I love the way she talks about sex all over her </span></span><a href="http://dodsonandross.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">website</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">, which she runs with Carlin Ross, and all over her </span></span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/carlincherrybomb"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">YouTube Channel</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">, and all over her </span></span><a href="http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">blog</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">. I love that her work in sex education has extended to the free-for-all Internet, as well as running her own private practice in New York City, because it is this kind of positive, non-judgemental sex education that people need, not the pearl-clutching and the slut shaming and the pictures-of-pustules-and-diseases-without-any-discussion-of-pleasure-or-consent-or-thrush-or-</span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5647280/why-didnt-we-learn-about-utis-in-sex-ed"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">UTIs</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">. Just watch this video (link </span></span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wI0BLkp2Cw0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">here</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">). Then watch all of her other videos. Luxuriate in the way that Betty talks about sex.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><object width="400" height="250"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/wI0BLkp2Cw0?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/wI0BLkp2Cw0?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="250"></embed></object></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">2. She wrote </span></span><a href="http://dodsonandross.com/sexfeature/bettys-response-vagina-monologues"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">this</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> amazing response to the play, the </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Vagina_Monologues"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Vagina Monologues</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">, and opened up a whole new can of critical thinking. Why can't even the most pussy-centric play of our time use anatomical terms </span></span><a href="http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson/2010/07/it-vulva-or-vagina"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">correctly</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">? Why can't we ever talk about women and sex and women's bodies without talking about rape? Why does rape always have to be a women's issue?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">3. She has the most amazing skin. Apparently her secret is "</span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5544534/sex-pioneers-secret-to-eternal-youth-orgasms"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">pussy power</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">". She makes me want to orgasm into my eighties and save on my skincare routine.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">4. Yes, her eighties. She is eighty one. EIGHTY! ONE! I love how she totally kills all of those </span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5493820/a-brief-patronizing-history-of-elder+sex"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">stupid media representations</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> of old person sex as one big cutesy, hilarious and/or repulsive joke.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">5. She cares so much about pleasure. Because that is what consensual sex is, right? It's about doing what feels good. It's just bodies. I love how much she cares about </span></span><a href="http://dodsonandross.com/sexfeature/first-time-orgasm"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">teaching women to orgasm</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">. I love that she runs masturbation workshops. I love that she kept running masturbation workshops after she had a hip replacement.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">6. I love that her and Carlin's response to the </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-pornography_movement"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">hysterical</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><a href="http://www.makelovenotporn.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">anti-porn</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><a href="http://www.alternet.org/sex/148142/should_we_worry_whether_porn_has_hijacked_our_sexuality?page=entire"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">brigade</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> (which my girlfriend blogged about; </span></span><a href="http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/pirate-wildewood/2010/09/pornography-has-power-portray-new-lifestyle-choices-gender-roles"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">republished</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> on Betty Dodson's website nonetheless) was to make a series of </span></span><a href="http://dodsonandross.com/boutique/video-0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">sex education videos</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">. Brilliant. If you don't like something, make it better.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">7. I love that she started a </span></span><a href="http://dodsonandross.com/gallery/genital-art"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">genital art gallery</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">, as part of her work to normalise and celebrate different types of genitalia</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">. I hate that it got taken down. I love that her </span></span><a href="http://www.scarleteen.com/resource/advice/betty_dodsons_vulva_illustrations"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">vulva illustrations</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> are on </span></span><a href="http://www.scarleteen.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Scarleteen</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> though, a sex education website for teenagers.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">8. I love that there is some stuff she does that I don't completely love. I wish she wasn't quite so dismissive of the G-Spot, for example, but I get that she has an entire generation of women who expect to come from vaginal penetration alone to deal with. Also, Betty has been </span></span><a href="http://savingafrica.wordpress.com/2010/04/16/betty-dodson-and-audre-lourde-can-i-possibly-use-the-masters-tools-to-demolish-her-house/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">criticized</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> for her support of </span></span><a href="http://clitoraid.org/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Clitoraid</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">, an organisation that fund re-constructive surgery for women who have experienced female genital mutilation. While I really hate Clitoraid's patronising "Adopt a Clitoris" campaign, I love Betty's </span></span><a href="http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson/2010/04/answering-critics-clitoraid"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">response</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> to her critics, and I love her and Carlin's </span></span><a href="http://dodsonandross.com/sexfeature/my-first-circumcised-african-woman"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">tireless</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><a href="http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/carlin/2010/09/fgm-banned-worldwidesuck-it-feminists"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">advocacy</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><a href="http://dodsonandross.com/sexfeature/my-position-fgm-cornell-university-intersex-surgery"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">against</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><a href="http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/carlin/2010/05/ayaan-hirsi-ali-defense-clitoraid"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">FGM</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">9. She identifies herself as a heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><object width="400" height="250"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/siRxFZzm6FA?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/siRxFZzm6FA?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="250"></embed></object>
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">10. She wrote an essay called </span><a href="http://www.planetwaves.net/feminism/fucking_like_feminist.html">Fucking Like a Feminist</a><span class="Apple-style-span">.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">11. The eleventh and final reason to love Betty Dodson is simply just because this photograph of her exists. She looks like she has just popped out of training at the masturbation military. Amazing.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghklBqs9umxgs53TAb-aQEMX_2pOTXyDJu4A3vt9AA8V4bqj4c2b3dLe9ypjsx7tNRqi7VGyz1wqKbka3Ak-Mwkwq1rF8ujEEzKCVYWrnFOQiCwiq8zSa0ycKCWucEbS0PF_YP2-TP0t5b/s1600/hitachi.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghklBqs9umxgs53TAb-aQEMX_2pOTXyDJu4A3vt9AA8V4bqj4c2b3dLe9ypjsx7tNRqi7VGyz1wqKbka3Ak-Mwkwq1rF8ujEEzKCVYWrnFOQiCwiq8zSa0ycKCWucEbS0PF_YP2-TP0t5b/s320/hitachi.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528415775604852194" style="text-align: justify;display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 320px; " /></a><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">[If you guys are interested in this sex-positive feminism business, you should check out my girlfriend's </span></span></i><a href="http://piratewildewood.blogspot.com/?zx=9defe242c186e6ea"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">blog</span></span></i></a><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> that she has just started up. And tell her to post more stuff, because Stevie eats pro-sex feminism for breakfast.]</span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-52064042848935063502010-10-14T07:24:00.000-07:002010-10-15T01:36:34.669-07:00Gingerly Negotiating Your Rage on the Internet<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrYLpEsfQamstCDGs8AgrU1cor3n11BO7nH-8rh1X-5DgimNkn_xEMJbOl8tnfxbBaJjSvg8SijdiAYqOY_JCPSxliSN3u_ur1IT1MmLilAWIEaHfr1w_VNPiSnoEg-wTOUVhO3Q664eNx/s1600/HelpTheseGingerKids-thumb.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 148px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrYLpEsfQamstCDGs8AgrU1cor3n11BO7nH-8rh1X-5DgimNkn_xEMJbOl8tnfxbBaJjSvg8SijdiAYqOY_JCPSxliSN3u_ur1IT1MmLilAWIEaHfr1w_VNPiSnoEg-wTOUVhO3Q664eNx/s200/HelpTheseGingerKids-thumb.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527830981048419202" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><span class="Apple-style-span">Do you know what Internet? It makes me so happy when you send me emails about your rage. I quite like getting emails in general actually, but I especially love the rage. This is possibly only because it makes me feel like I am not the only furious psychopath on the Internet, but the heart wants what the heart wants. So you guys should keep emailing me, because it makes me feel like I am reuniting with my many long lost siblings of fury. As if we were all adopted out by one extremely angry mother, and now we are finding each other through our shared distaste for idiocy on the Internet. Although, I think I'll stick with my own mum because she has a crystal necklace that spells out CUNT and she doesn't mind when I blog about cum towels on the Internet.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">In the latest installment of Your Rage and My Blog, we are going to talk about this little gem here that I was sent by my pal A:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=gingerhate.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/gingerhate.jpg" border="0" alt="ginger hate" /></span></span></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">And A, as a sibling of Internet fury, was offended by this. She said:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; border-collapse: collapse; "><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"></span></i></div><blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">'Ginger' hate has to be one of the stupidest possible sorts of discrimination. Its a hair colour! Come the fuck on. It is just senseless bullying. I think hair anywhere in the strawberry blonde- violent red spectrum is awesome. Naturally red headed people have the loveliest hair, and often wonderful pale skin freckly complexions. </span></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">People really are idiots.</span></i></div></blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"></span></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Funnily enough, I happen to agree with A. And not just because </span><a href="http://iamoffendedbecause.blogspot.com/2010/08/sweet-bitch-of-week-i-heart-amelia-hart.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span><a href="http://iamoffendedbecause.blogspot.com/2010/07/sweet-bitch-of-week-from-closer-to-home.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">am</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span><a href="http://iamoffendedbecause.blogspot.com/2010/06/and-introducing-sweet-bitch-of-week.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">biased</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. I was almost on board there with Izzy because it was a Harry Potter joke, and I do like to think of myself as bearing an uncanny resemblance to Madam Rosmerta. Almost on board, but not quite. Because I didn't find it that funny when a friend in first year explained that you call a "hot" red head a unicorn. And I didn't find this funny either:</span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=strawberry.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/strawberry.jpg" border="0" alt="strawberry" /></a></span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Decidedly no laughs there. Any possible points that I might have assigned for critical analysis of Twilight (alternatively known as Stephanie Myer's Pro Life Allegory of Stockholm Syndrome) have been counter balanced by Izzy's casual homophobia. And the strawberry blonde thing? How awkward. God forbid, letting somebody describe their body using the terms that they choose. :L indeed. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I mean, you guys probably know this by now, right? I like to be offended by stuff. And yes, blah blah, ginger hate is just a joke! I should probably calm down or get over it or lighten up or take a chill pill, or something else completely dismissive. But surely, by now I'm on record as being completely humourless and a total boner killer. So humourless, in fact, that I was one of the 700 New Zealanders who made gleefully made official complaints about <a href="http://www.3news.co.nz/Paul-Henry-resigns-from-TVNZ/tabid/423/articleID/180641/Default.aspx">Paul Henry</a> because I'm just not that into state funded racism. So bitterly humourless, that I just don't think that ginger jokes are that funny. I don't think it's that funny to imitate all of the other types of discrimination by joking about hair colour. If it's that funny then why don't we all play a little light hearted round of eugenics? Or maybe we could sit down to a game of Khmer Rouge? Lynch mob role play anyone?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I know. Nobody is dying. It's a hair colour. But why imitate this shit? It's still bullying. It's still body policing. It's these kind of jokes that normalize how divisive our society can be. Sometimes bullying leads to </span><a href="http://abcnews.go.com/US/gay-teen-suicide-sparks-debate/story?id=11788128"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">stuff</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. And ginger hate has lead to some </span><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1270379/Anti-ginger-bullies-forced-daughter-school.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">pretty</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-459182/Red-headed-family-forced-ginger-hate-campaign.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">crap</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span><a href="http://www.canada.com/theprovince/news/story.html?id=8353ba5a-d1b3-426f-95ab-91fcda3bcb62"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">stuff</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. And seriously, if <a href="http://gawker.com/5663099/can-perez-hilton-really-clean-up-his-act">Perez Hilton</a> says he is going to stop bullying people, there has got to be hope for us all.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><br /></span></div></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/11219730" width="400" height="225" frameborder="0"></iframe></div><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/11219730">M.I.A, Born Free</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user3148077">ROMAIN-GAVRAS</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</p>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-19886960624003287572010-10-03T02:20:00.000-07:002010-10-03T19:17:33.664-07:00Eff You Peter Carlisle<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLNHmVGy3IH1Em3fgcfvgi39kZAkgpwSRyrA4e40MULygglKIh2ZqZs3fxETUGmJawgdcZl3IvXkrLjc7_6C-vZBTB_69pyyFPaT5TIJISfTmfqQGq8DHH5yvE31TUq7Jyiv0Z-wTABN0o/s1600/unplanned.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLNHmVGy3IH1Em3fgcfvgi39kZAkgpwSRyrA4e40MULygglKIh2ZqZs3fxETUGmJawgdcZl3IvXkrLjc7_6C-vZBTB_69pyyFPaT5TIJISfTmfqQGq8DHH5yvE31TUq7Jyiv0Z-wTABN0o/s400/unplanned.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523748175800302802" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></span></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">There is a pro-choice rally in Wellington on Tuesday. I really wish that I could go. Partly because I want to feel like a proper days-of-yore feminist who goes to six protests before breakfast and then goes home to read the Beauty Myth. Partly because abortion is actually illegal in New Zealand and because getting an abortion requires already vulnerable women to jump through hoops like little sparkly-ruffed circus dogs. I'd like to go to the rally because for a woman to choose abortion in New Zealand she has to see two different doctors and she has to tell them that the continuation of her pregnancy will endanger her life, her mental health or her physical health. If she lives outside of Christchurch, Wellington or Auckland she will have to travel, often meaning many days away from work and away from her local support network. MP Steve Chadwick is currently proposing an Abortion Reform Bill to take abortion out of the Crimes Act, which surprisingly will be opposed by anti-abortion group Voice For Life. The life that they advocate for of course being that of unborn foetuses, rather than the full and healthy lives of women and their planned families. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> So I have a few pretty good reasons for wanting to go and protest.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">But mostly, I'd like to go to the rally to say a big 'fuck you' to Peter Carlisle. I don't know who Peter Carlisle is, but he posted this on the Facebook </span></span></span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=129253123791230&ref=ts"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">event page</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> for the No More Jumping Through Hoops Abortion Rights Protest and I instantly hated him:</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=petercarlisle.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/petercarlisle.jpg" border="0" alt="<span class=" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" /></span></span></span></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Needless to say, I am more than a little offended by the dismissive, misogynist, homophobic, slut-shaming and inaccurate Peter Carlisle. So were a whole lot of other open legged lesbians on the event page. Nicola made this brilliant point:</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=raped.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/raped.jpg" border="0" alt="raped" /></span></span></span></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Astute, although I often wish that we didn't have to use extreme situations like rape or incest to suggest that a woman should be entitled full control of her body. Hannah casually pointed out Peter's apparent lack of basic biological knowledge:</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=lesbians.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/lesbians.jpg" border="0" alt="<span class=" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" /></span></span></span></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">My friend Izzy, a she-wolf if there ever was one, eloquently put Peter in his place:</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=izzy.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/izzy.jpg" border="0" alt="<span class=" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" /></span></span></span></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">But Tessa possibly had the best argument of all:</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=tessa.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/tessa.jpg" border="0" alt="<span class=" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" /></span></span></a></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=tessa.jpg" target="_blank"></a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And just quietly, Peter Carlisle is not only poorly informed about basic biology but also about the meaning of the word contraception. He should possibly get his facts right before posting on a Facebook event filled with slutty lesbians who also happen to be pedants. Contraception is something that is used to prevent </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">conception</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">, so I am guessing that most women who request abortion are a little past that point. And if Peter means that women are using abortion as a method of birth control, perhaps he should go and read </span></span><a href="http://thecurvature.tumblr.com/post/751412401/using-abortion-as-a-form-of-birth-control"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">this</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> awesome blog post at the Curvature. Here is a snippet:</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i></i></span></span><blockquote style="text-align: justify;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">"Because do you understand the actual words you are speaking? Do you know what birth control is? It’s </span></span></i><em><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">right there</span></span></em><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">, </span></span></i><em><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">in the name</span></span></em><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. It is something you use to </span></span></i><em><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">control</span></span></em><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> whether or not you give </span></span></i><em><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">birth</span></span></em><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. That’s it. Ta-da. The end. When someone says “lots of women use abortion as a form of birth control!” what they mean is “lots of women use abortion.” The extra words are unnecessary. How the hell else are you going to use it?"</span></span></i></blockquote></span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I would love to go to that protest to shove it to Peter Carlisle. I would like to shove it to all of the Peter Carlisles of the world; men who think they ought to have a say in what women do with their bodies. I would love to go because full equality depends upon women having full control over their fertility. I would love to show my support for Steve Chadwick's bill, because often it is not abortion that causes mental distress, it is the </span></span><a href="http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2010/09/29/its-not-abortion-that-drives-you-mad-its-the-law/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">obstacles that women face</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. I would love to shove it to Peter Carlisle for suggesting that women who have abortions are sexually promiscuous and for even thinking that the amount of sex a woman has is something that can be used as an insult. It would be great to ask him about a pile of things, like why he thinks that my being a lesbian (or at least a woman who is in a same sex relationship) somehow seems to undermine my stance on reproductive rights or why he seems to think that women are solely responsible for planning when to have kids. I would like to take him up on why he thinks it is appropriate to tell another human being to just shut their legs. I would like to tell him about how no contraceptive is 100% effective and about how nobody is perfect and about the many women who have died in back alley procedures as a consequence of limited access to safe and legal abortion . I would like to tie him to a chair and make him watch </span></span><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0383694/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Vera Drake</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. I would like to ask him why he feels so comfortable with the idea of forcing his moral beliefs onto others. I would like to politely suggest that if Peter Carlisle doesn't like abortions then maybe he doesn't have to get one, but he shouldn't rob others of their personal choice. </span></span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">But I can't go to the protest. I will be sitting at my desk at work devoting eight hours of my day to typing, mediocrity and capitalism. But maybe you can. Go. Shove it to Peter Carlisle.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">
<br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">If you live in Wellington and you want to stick it to Peter Carlisle you should go to the No More Jumping Through Hoops: Abortion Rights Protest at the Court of Appeal tomorrow, on the 5th of October. Make a stand against </span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>Right to Life is taking the Abortion Supervisory Committee to court, to try and further restrict women's access to abortion in New Zealand.</i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Meet on the corner of Aitken and Molesworth Street at 12.30pm and wear something red. I understand that organisers are also looking for volunteers to hand out fliers this afternoon at the train station and on Tuesday morning they need help blowing up balloons. Email </span></span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">actionforabortionrights@gmail.com for more information or go to the </span></span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=129253123791230&ref=ts"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Facebook event page</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></i></span></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-60898245957358800332010-10-02T18:38:00.000-07:002010-10-02T00:25:15.429-07:00Count This, Internet.<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: small; ">Today, I learned something from Facebook. Something other than the fact that girls from my high school are getting engaged at an alarming rate.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><span class="Apple-style-span">I was sent this charming screen cap and I learned that my big boobs don't count because I am fat. And let me tell you, Internet, that this was quite a revelation for me.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=bigboobsdontcount.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/bigboobsdontcount.jpg" border="0" alt="<span class=" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" /></span></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></div></span><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: small; ">Previously, I had been under the impression that their mere physical existence was enough to ensure that my boobs counted. I thought that surely they must count because last week I spent one fifth of my pay check on a new bra and that money has definitely left my feeble bank account. I thought they counted because the week before my period my boobs ache, like two bowling balls have been shoved in my chest. Or because of the way they bounce up and down when my girlfriend is fucking me and because of the magic of a well-timed nipple pinch. I thought they counted because of the heckling and the come ons and the cat calls and the comments, or just because of the way they fill out a t-shirt. I thought they counted because of the crescent moons of sweat that appear underneath them when I jog up the Brooklyn Hill or how sometimes when I eat risotto for dinner I'll take my bra off to get in the shower and I'll find stray grains of rice tucked in my bra. I thought that they must count for something because I can easily fit my cellphone and my lip balm down there and forget about them, and on a special occasion I can conceal a can of Pulse. I thought they counted because of how sore my back gets sometimes, which must be some indication of their weight and their presence and the fact that they count. Or because I can look down my admittedly-low-necked top and literally count them. One. Two.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">But apparently, I was wrong. Because I guess, at the end of the misogynist day, the only thing that boobs count for is being sexy. And we've talked about it </span><a href="http://iamoffendedbecause.blogspot.com/2010/10/my-fat-body-word-on-fat-acceptance.html"><span class="Apple-style-span">before</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span">, but in our culture, being fat is not sexy. But actually, I hate this and I hate this Facebook group and I call bullshit. My boobs count. Not only because they are sexy, which they are. Not only because of the sweat and the pinching and the grains of rice. My boobs count, because they are mine and I am a person. </span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Internet, you tell me a lot of stupid things about my body. You tell me that I am ugly and that I am also an object and sometimes a fetish and that I am an immediate death risk. I get it, you have a lot to say. But please, don't tell me that the body I eat and walk and live and breathe and dance and think and fuck in doesn't count. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I exist. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I count.</span></span></div></div><span class="Apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=nerdlove-9.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "></span></a><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=nerdlove-9.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/nerdlove-9.jpg" border="0" alt="b00bs" /></span></a></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-6947067420768654712010-10-01T17:23:00.000-07:002010-10-05T20:08:11.387-07:00My Fat Body - A Word On Fat Acceptance<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisHgK6mTfqpWY7LN6ZTutf45DbpHn_RTsJhubw0CcEL7ty20lpq-gZm9XFkIQbyKyO6oeTiusO-1oPJG9IiAoR6_sQUTsiU28BK5tKbFZCti1BFZwXghJESCgfwBhfzj-4lindQjlYn1iy/s1600/pinupsmile.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisHgK6mTfqpWY7LN6ZTutf45DbpHn_RTsJhubw0CcEL7ty20lpq-gZm9XFkIQbyKyO6oeTiusO-1oPJG9IiAoR6_sQUTsiU28BK5tKbFZCti1BFZwXghJESCgfwBhfzj-4lindQjlYn1iy/s320/pinupsmile.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523252862990526642" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: small; "><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><i>Okay, so I know that posting this here is king of cheating because this isn't even a new post. I am working on one right now; I have my deck doors swung open looking over Aro Valley and I have a custard square from Aro Bake, both of which are critical to writing success. This article is something I have written for Jason Mann's photography project Reclaim Advertising. All of the photos that appear throughout the post are pictures of me that Jason has taken as part of the project. You can see other photos <a href="http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=135767439795187&ref=ts">here</a> (including <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5083201&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=135767439795187&id=707902959">this</a> one of my lady friend) and his wonderful girlfriend Coley has written a blog post <a href="http://coleytangerina.tumblr.com/post/1221282777/100th-blog-post-reclaim-advertising#notes">here</a></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><i> </i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><i>which explains more about Reclaim Advertising, and includes some of her writing for the magazine that Jason is publishing as a culmination of his work. I apologize if some of this article is a little boring or self indulgent for regular readers, as a lot of the stuff I have touched on I have written about before on this blog. I will be less boring next time, I promise. The custard square is helping with that.</i></span></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); ">I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but a serious epidemic is plaguing fat people. Symptoms include headlessness, waddling and the wearing of khaki shorts. The headless fatty affliction is most visible in news stories about the obesity epidemic; news stories pinned on scientific information which is usually funded by weight loss companies or gastric band manufacturers. Often cases of headless fatty can be seen in infomercials for diet pills and for bizarre and expensive contraptions that apparently make it easier for one to do a sit up, even though all that is required is merely sitting up.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><div style="text-align: justify;">I posed in these photos for Jason Mann’s Reclaim Advertising project because I was getting really sick and tired of how fat bodies are depicted in the media, both without heads and without dignity. I wanted Jason to take photographs of me being fat and sexy, because to me that seemed like a radical act. In the media fat is not sexy. Images of headless fatties, with their waggling asses and their shifting tummies are not seen as sexual, whereas close ups on tight buttocks and rippling abdominals seem almost pornographic. In our culture ‘fat’ and ‘sexy’ are seen as mutually exclusive because the word ‘fat’ is an insult. Lately I’ve been trying to change that, just in my daily life, in between blogging and going to work and drinking whiskey. I’ve been trying to use fat as a describing word, because saying that I am fat should carry the same cultural weight as saying that I have green eyes. Which is none. Waxing lyrical about being fat should be culturally weightless, if you will.</div></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=goldsilk.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/goldsilk.jpg" border="0" alt="goldsilk" /></a></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); ">I decided to use the three letter F Word after reading the article <a href="http://www.salon.com/life/excerpt/2009/01/24/kate_harding">‘Does My Butt Look Fat?’</a> by Fat Acceptance blogger <a href="http://kateharding.net/">Kate Harding.</a> Harding writes about how the word fat does not just mean fat in our culture. Harding observes that fat can mean ugly, smelly, unhealthy and lazy. Fat can mean ignorant. Fat can mean poor. Fat can mean unlovable or undisciplined. But fat never just means having more adipose tissue than other human beings.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "> </span></span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><div style="text-align: justify;">The fat acceptance movement is trying to change that. Fat acceptance is based on the radical notion that human beings deserve respect no matter what their body looks like. It is not about promoting being fat. It is not about saying that fat bodies are better than thin bodies in the obnoxious tradition of ‘Real Women Have Curves’, because all women are real women. It is about rejecting body surveillance culture and body shame. Fat acceptance is often about separating ‘fat’ from ‘unhealthy’, and rejecting the assumption that it is possible to tell how healthy someone is based on what they look like. Fat acceptance is about how the Body Mass Index is bullshit, because unhealthy thin people are not getting the medical attention they deserve. It is about Linda Bacon’s medical mantra of Health At Every Size, because Pro-Health is more effective than Anti-Obesity. It is about ending discrimination because you can’t shame a person into being thin, because nobody wants to look after their body if they hate it. Fat acceptance is also about respecting the choices that people make for their own bodies, because health should not be a prerequisite for respect. It is about how nobody kicks up a fuss at cyclists or adventure sports enthusiasts for being a drain on the tax payer and the health care system. For me, fat acceptance has been about rejecting the urge to body snark as a bonding activity with my female friends. Fat acceptance is not just about fat people. It is for everyone, because everyone deserves respect.</div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); ">I am so pants-wetting-ly inspired by the work of so many clever, insightful and provocative Fat Acceptance bloggers, whose work I have internalised and probably inadvertently plagiarised. Harding, who I mentioned above and who writes at <a href="http://kateharding.net/">Shapely Prose</a>. Lesley Kinsel from <a href="http://www.fatshionista.com/cms/">Fatshionista</a>; Natalie Perkins from <a href="http://www.definatalie.com/">Definatalie</a>; Marianne Kirby from <a href="http://www.therotund.com/">The Rotund</a>, Elizabeth from <a href="http://mymilkspilt.wordpress.com/">Spilt Millk</a>; Samantha Thomas from <a href="http://www.drsamanthathomas.com/">The Discourse,</a> Frances from <a href="http://corpulent.wordpress.com/">Corpulent</a>; Tasha Fierce from <a href="http://redvinylshoes.com/">Red Vinyl Shoes</a>; Charlotte Cooper from <a href="http://obesitytimebomb.blogspot.com/">Obesity Timebomb</a>; Jessica from <a href="http://tangledupinlace.blogspot.com/">Tangled Up In Lace</a>; Nick Perkins from <a href="http://www.nicholosophy.com/">Nicholosophy</a>; Ragen Chastain from <a href="http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/">Dances with Fa</a>t; Melissa McEwen from <a href="http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/">Shakesville</a>. These writers are part of a thriving and exciting fatosphere on the Internet where bloggers share their writing; where the sartorially minded post pictures post pictures and convene to discuss major ‘fatshion’ events like the release of infamous fat singer Beth Ditto’s Evan clothing range.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "> </span></span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><div style="text-align: justify;">Saying the word fat is still hard for me, but thanks to the fatosphere it is easier than it has ever been. I have always known that I am fat. To find your best friend at my primary school you had to find someone who could fit their thumb and forefinger around your wrist. My wrist was too big. The next day I ordered only an apple from the school canteen. I was nine. By using the word fat I am trying to reverse the last thirteen years of body shame, starting with that apple. It’s not easy. Sometimes it’s actually hard. Advocating for fat acceptance does not magically cure every negative thing that I have internalised about my body. I haven’t forgotten the heckling in the street or the fat jokes or the Facebook group “Big Boobs Don’t Count If You’re Fat.” I have not reached a Utopian state of permanent body love, where it rains Maltesers and where there are limitless wheels of Brie. But I am trying.</div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><div style="text-align: justify;">These photographs are part of that. When Jason took those photographs of me it was a counteraction to every headless fatty photograph that I see in the media. I wanted to recreate a perfume advert, and reclaiming this kind of advertising was an action against everybody who has ever said that fat people smell, or that they are disgusting. (Do you know that when Lee Daniels, the Director of Precious, started working with Gabourey Sibide he was surprised she didn’t smell?) These photographs, like pictures on fatshion blogs and like Aquaporko, a fat lady synchronized swimming team in Australia, are about normalising fat bodies and separating ‘fat’ from ‘ugly’ and from ‘unhealthy’. These photographs are about humanising fat people. These photographs are about my head. And my fat. In the same frame, at the same time. Looking sexy.</div></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=allypinup.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "></span></a><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=allypinup.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/allypinup.jpg" border="0" alt="allypinup" /></a></div></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-16852894799366144722010-09-18T03:51:00.001-07:002010-09-21T04:43:36.511-07:00Rage On, My Babies: The Birth of "Your Rage, My Blog"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqx3xUzwYooBsnZj7VOKHUYp1fijoiBmvutxwh8tr1t-a9K9FnQYDqvCeuLue26EnDzFoAqUa33o-KWtvrRwxq1xN3CO2xPxMk6QNHcQrGWsTAsGXWaDLnmzlp_MtzaZ_rN2di-Q436F5Y/s1600/rageywoman.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 152px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqx3xUzwYooBsnZj7VOKHUYp1fijoiBmvutxwh8tr1t-a9K9FnQYDqvCeuLue26EnDzFoAqUa33o-KWtvrRwxq1xN3CO2xPxMk6QNHcQrGWsTAsGXWaDLnmzlp_MtzaZ_rN2di-Q436F5Y/s200/rageywoman.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518230321516975922" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">My dear readers, it has come to my attention that man</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><span class="Apple-style-span">y of you are suffering from acute cases of rage. I don't hardly blame you, because we live in a time where our political representatives are either </span></span><a href="http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10673795"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><span class="Apple-style-span">dead baby fraudsters</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><span class="Apple-style-span"> or they see merit in </span></span><a href="http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/PO1009/S00096/mayors-committed-to-banning-street-prostitutes.htm"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><span class="Apple-style-span">banning</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><span class="Apple-style-span"> the most vulnerable of sex workers from public vision. (Surprisingly, the Prostitutes Collective </span></span><a href="http://www.odt.co.nz/news/politics/125480/bill-will-put-sex-workers-risk-prostitutes-collective"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><span class="Apple-style-span">thinks</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><span class="Apple-style-span"> that the Manakau City Bill might put prostitutes at risk. In other news, the world might remain spherical.) We live in a rage inducing time where everybody loves </span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5609493/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><span class="Apple-style-span">Christopher Nolan</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><span class="Apple-style-span">, which also happens to be a time where my UTI just will not fucking go away. So it is okay. I feel your rage. That is why I sit here, tip tapping at my keyboard. I needed a rage outlet or else my</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><a href="http://piratewildewood.blogspot.com/?zx=7681df87d765452"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">girlfriend</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> was going to keep encouraging me to join a gym to deal with my aggression. So I made a blog instead, and now I just share my rage with the internet.</span></span></span></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Basically, I've gotten an inkling about your rage recently because you've told me about it. You've sent me a whole lot of emails and Facebook messages and texts, and sometimes we have even talked face to face about how furious you are with all of the sizeist and racist and classist and ableist and transphobic and whorephobic and homophobic and misogynist and slut-shaming and xenophobic assholes that you know. So I was thinking, you guys should keep telling me about this stuff and then maybe I could actually blog about it. To do this, you should email me at alexandra.hazel.garrett@gmail.com and possibly screencap your examples of internet assholery. Examples which I can instantly and magically make anonymous through the use of Perez Hilton inspired MS Paint, and by the by, I really hope this is the first and last thing I do that is inspired by Perez Hilton. Then you guys will get to share your rage and you totally won't have to join a gym, unless you want to. And if you are going to join a gym, then you probably shouldn't join Contours, because my friend Erin told me this about it:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"></span></span><blockquote style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">"</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Two of my workmates went to sign-up at a gym at lunch. During the fitness tests and sign-up thingy they had a weight check according to a chart on the wall. I shit you not this was the scale NORMAL > FATTER THAN NORMAL > FAT > OVER FAT"</span></span></span></blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">As you probably know, I am all about using the word fat more often to try and take away some of the shame and stigma. But Contours, I'm not really sure if differentiating between 'fat' and 'normal' in such a specific and obnoxious does this. Maybe somebody could be both fat AND normal, Contours? Also, maybe not everybody wants to actually lose weight? Maybe they want to come to your gym to do this:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=fatphobicbullshit.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/fatphobicbullshit.jpg" border="0" alt="<span class=" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" /></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span">[Created by </span></i></span><a href="http://susansurface.tumblr.com/post/824311297/this-got-more-popular-than-i-expected-upon-the"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span">Susan Surface</span></i></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span">, who is selling merchandise at </span></i></span><a href="http://www.cafepress.com/loveourselves"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span">CafePress</span></i></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span">, and who almost makes me want to join a gym.]</span></i></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">So, in the first instance of Your Rage, My Blog I am going to post something here that was sent in by my friend M, a stone cold fox who makes amazing lasagna. M felt offended when this popped up on her Facebook:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=pointofliving.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/pointofliving.jpg" border="0" alt="<span class=" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" /></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Which yeah, that's offensive. Sure, I've never met C but this is probably just him making a little joke, because he's young and liberal and he can get away with it because obviously he's being </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">ironic</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">. He makes jokes like this but he's not </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span">actually</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span"> sexist or anything. But actually, the things we joke about are the things we think about. And in the words of Bidisha from the Guardian, </span></span><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jul/30/casual-sexism-misogyny"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">casual sexism is nothing but misogyny</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Is this supposed to be funny because equality has apparently been achieved? Because it isn't and because it hasn't. Women are still paid less than men. Abortion law in New Zealand is classified under the Crimes Act, not the Health Act, and I can't tell anyone that I'm making a play about womanhood in New Zealand without them asking if it is about periods. Which is another kind of intentionally-humorous-but-actually-derogatory statement, or in this case a question, because women are obviously so hysterical that we all couldn't hang out together without talking about menstruation. Which is actually just offensive in itself, because if we wanted to make a show about periods, or any-fucking-thing about the female body we should be able to do so without derision or even the subtlest of sneers. Because if we did, it might be fucking brilliant. Possibly somebody might even want to see it, what with the prevalence of menstrual bleeding among half the planet. But then again, </span></span><a href="http://www.nzherald.co.nz/entertainment-reviews/news/article.cfm?c_id=1502967&objectid=10669041"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">every</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/blogs/the-girls-guide/4067665/The-V-word"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">single</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><a href="http://www.theatreview.org.nz/reviews/review.php?id=3329"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">review</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> of the Vagina Monologues at the Basement prefaced itself with some kind of OH MY GOD HOW EMBARRASSING AND 90'S, A PLAY ABOUT VAGINAS, OH MY GOD HOW UNCOMFORTABLE commentary. But hey, I'm probably overreacting. What's the point in living, if you don't have a dick? LULZ!</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Just quietly, C, was it nice when you were being kept alive inside the body of a woman for nine months? Was it good having a dick then? How about when your little minuscule baby dick was pushed through your mother's vagina and into the world, or when you emerged from the gaping hole in her stomach? A hole in the body of the woman who gave you life. I'm kind of loathe to place too much emphasis on motherhood here. Ladies shouldn't be defined by their ability to breed and there are a whole lot of women who can't have babies and who don't want to. Also because it is this kind of naturalisation of maternity and of women's work that means that stay at home parents don't get paid, and teachers and carers and nurses don't get paid very much, because it is natural and it is what women do and they are supposed to enjoy it, not get paid for it. And also, because there are people who neither have dicks nor are women, and people who have dicks but also consider themselves as female, and I don't want to get too gender binary up in here. So, C, I am aware that my argument is a little problematic, but maybe the next time you go to assert your masculinity through some casually misogynist joke, you should just remember that your mother actually gave you your dick. Maybe you should shake what your mama gave you and learn to treat women with some respect.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="265"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/walFnlseA9Q?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/walFnlseA9Q?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="320" height="265"></embed></object><span class="Apple-style-span">
<br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-56813387284912735672010-09-11T22:40:00.001-07:002010-09-21T04:42:59.525-07:00An Open Letter To The Woman Sitting At The Table Next To Me At Olive Cafe Last Weekend:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxh3RvuGC7qUWgTGH9gEKvkoARvSvjDS__4T_nlO1NPI6rMyF2x8imPAFpQwZzQXDfyUngfEZoyQNeSMStaVyjxS1e7OcsfGE4MEvkjKM9OWX1sUhmK3gcGYnjLkQgstPlNB0PYvjvP2tg/s1600/halloumi1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxh3RvuGC7qUWgTGH9gEKvkoARvSvjDS__4T_nlO1NPI6rMyF2x8imPAFpQwZzQXDfyUngfEZoyQNeSMStaVyjxS1e7OcsfGE4MEvkjKM9OWX1sUhmK3gcGYnjLkQgstPlNB0PYvjvP2tg/s200/halloumi1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5515898001703979842" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Dear Mystery Woman,</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I don't mind that your table companions turned around to stare, breathing over my shoulder, when my breakfast arrived. I know that they were just trying to decide what to order and it seemed like you were out on a family outing, and you can choose your friends but you can't choose your eggs-florentine-oogling family. I even quite liked it when your brother/cousin/alternate male family member asked the waitress for a Coke, because it gave me the smug satisfaction of knowing that they don't serve that kind of beverage (because this is Cuba Street) and that he would have to settle for an organic Phoenix Cola. But what I did mind is your comment that you couldn't order the halloumi that morning because it is "</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">dangerous stuff</span></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">".</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Just quietly, cheese is generally thought to be less dangerous than a lot of other things. Knives, for example. Or bombs or sulfuric acid or baboons or pedophiles. I can think of a few situations where perhaps halloumi could be considered to be dangerous, perhaps if you are deathly lactose intolerant, in which case this blog post is largely irrelevant but I have always been an over thinker and I am okay with that. Other situations could include if a tonne of halloumi was about to fall out of the sky and you were about to be pelted with many little cheese sized bricks. I'm trying not to think about the dangerous implications for all of the little animals who have miserable lives because of the dairy industry, because I already can't eat porky things or chicken and giving up cheese would be as hard for me as giving up lipstick. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that that's not what you meant because you ended up ordering something with chorizo in it.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Cheese is not dangerous. Cheese is delicious. Sure, it might be dangerous if you ate cheese and only cheese for every meal for a whole year. But it would be dangerous to only eat carrots or chocolate or watermelon for a year. Alone, a food can not be dangerous. Food is just food. It does not have ill intentions or moral attributes. Food can not be 'good' or 'bad'. Foods have different nutritional components, yes, and eating everything in moderation is really great but labelling a food as 'bad' only contributes to a weird, fucked up belief system around eating. A belief system where business women can't buy chocolate off my friend Izzy without commenting on how 'naughty' they are being. Where a human being can't go to the gym without being told they are 'being good' or that they are being 'virtuous' if they eat some grapes, even though they might just like going to the gym to punch things and eating grapes because they taste delicious. A belief system where this kind of stupid Facebook status update is normal and 'liked' by four people:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=gelato.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/gelato.jpg" border="0" alt="gelato" /></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">These words, the "good" and the "bad" and the "virtuous" and the "naughty" are so insidious. They are body shame and blame, tied up in little adjective parcels. They are body surveillance culture, hidden as offside remarks. They are the words that say it is okay to be fat, as long as you are dieting and running up a hill every five minutes, because God forbid you love your body the way it is. Those words are about as stupid as this annoying commercial, because this is how chocolate biscuits have to be advertised:</span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vJLM-YGLgew?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vJLM-YGLgew?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I'm not sure what I am most bothered by here. Am I offended that Tim Tams are supposed to be a naughty illicit secret or that talking about openly about sex like this is such a NAUGHTY GIGGLE?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Mystery woman, you are a grown up. You control what you eat. You are in charge of eating what will nourish your body and what will make you feel amazing and what will taste delicious. If you think cheese is dangerous because it might make you fat, then you should learn to love yourself. Your body is going to be with you for your whole life. It might change. It might get fatter or thinner or hairier or sicker or stronger, but it's yours and you are stuck with it, so you better love it and nourish it and make it feel wonderful. Your body is not your enemy. Cheese is not your enemy. Neither are Tim Tams or Leeks or Muffins. If you want, you could read some </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><a href="http://www.fatnutritionist.com/index.php/what-is-normal-eating/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">of</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><a href="http://www.fatnutritionist.com/index.php/eat-food-stuff-you-like-as-much-as-you-want/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">this</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><a href="http://www.fatnutritionist.com/index.php/food-isnt-poison/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">stuff</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> by the </span></span><a href="http://www.fatnutritionist.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Fat Nutritionist</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> or learn about </span></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intuitive_eating"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">intuitive eating</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. But most importantly maybe you should trust your body, stop worrying and eat whatever the fuck you want. And even more importantly if you want halloumi you should go to Aro Cafe instead of Olive, because their portion size is actually worth sixteen dollars.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Love,</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Ally Garrett, cheese defende<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">r extraordinaire. </span></span></span></span></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-61774129778093005962010-09-03T03:49:00.001-07:002010-09-03T05:41:24.532-07:00Would A Rose By Any Other Name Smell As Misogynist?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWnd0jwtDE8aawEOYdxBV9mZjokljkoa_rSijpSGazS9LOPQ58VY48jl-RvZchXdDlGVNlEyTi-ogdICb6Kk_8T9sMMiGk1ehkLpknnvc7UNTRI4y5QMOlsZIK_ed6IsCGhukcFDgWB_Nt/s1600/Red_Roses.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWnd0jwtDE8aawEOYdxBV9mZjokljkoa_rSijpSGazS9LOPQ58VY48jl-RvZchXdDlGVNlEyTi-ogdICb6Kk_8T9sMMiGk1ehkLpknnvc7UNTRI4y5QMOlsZIK_ed6IsCGhukcFDgWB_Nt/s200/Red_Roses.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512656131551659730" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#666666;">Okay, so. Rosie. </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#666666;">We need to talk. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#666666;">On Facebook, you liked a group called </span></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh17dU0Rnloc6vnfnKzg6o_AjSCLvgumDcngqOGdO5I-ph-du7WG6iGyPKZIiXRlK53ByhCsDf3gkfsASghTCzmJA6cFocJdooNZaIPCQgSIaNcaMcf8nDM_qCC3k0DItIb0GQWCfM6_W58/s1600/Red_Roses.jpg"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> </span></span></a></span><a href="http://www.likemythought.com/like/view/39812"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6600CC;">Curvy girls do it better... only a dog wants a bone!</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#666666;"> By "needing to talk" I mean that I need write a blog post about this page that you clicked, probably mindlessly while you were at work or something. A blog post that you will most likely never read because we haven't talked since high school and because you have probably moved on to much loftier things in life than trawling your Facebook news feed like a pedant. But anyway.</span></span></span></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:small;">Firstly, everybody 'wants a bone'. Or like, they want 206 bones because that is how many bones adult human beings have. If you want less bones than that, you might be a pedophile. If you don't want a bone at all, then you probably want to fuck an octopus. Yes, I realise that this group is actually just using the term 'bone' as an attack on thin women. We'll get to that. I just wanted to get my little quip about the octopus out of the way.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=wantsabone.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/wantsabone.jpg" border="0" alt="wantsabone" /></span></span></a></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Secondly, curvy girls do WHAT better exactly? Write poetry? Swim triathlons? Make spinach and ricotta cannelloni? Oh. Right. I get it. They FUCK better. Because at the end of the day women are sexual objects. And the key word here is </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">objects</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> and not </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">sexual</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">, because this Facebook group is not about the innate power of female sexuality or even about masturbation. I wish it was, but it is about validating your body shape by your ability to fuck. Which is what counts, right, because women everywhere get </span></span><a href="http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2010/04/03/comparing-the-gender-wage-gap-across-countries/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">paid less</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> than men do and it doesn't even matter because a lady is always going to be defined by who and how and when and why and how often she fucks, and whether she gets paid for it and whether she is married and by what she does with the baby if she gets pregnant. And because the patriarchy hurts everyone, not just women, and if you are a straight man you best be putting on a show that you care most about the fucking and not about her poems or her cannelloni. This might be a generalisation, sure, but we have got to learn how to make positive statements about bodies without talking about how they are going to be shared by somebody else. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Thirdly, saying nasty things about thin women's bodies only justifies every single cruel thing that has ever been said about fat women. Loving your body does not have to be, and nor should it be, a competition. Because then nobody wins, apart from psychotherapists. And possibly Jenny Craig. Comparing thin women to 'bones' and the people who fuck them to 'dogs' just validates sizeism. It validates my being called a 'fat bitch' in the street that one time and it validates the pithy existence of the term 'chubby chaser'. Attacking men who like thin women just gives them the power to attack the sexual preferences of others, rather than something interesting like their political beliefs or whether or not they think Tony Soprano actually died at the end of the series. I know this is like the </span></span><a href="http://iamoffendedbecause.blogspot.com/2010/08/open-letter-to-james-who-lives-in.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">letter to James again</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">, but there have got to be ways of being body positive without tearing other women down.This is not about whether or not it is okay to express your sexual preferences in a public forum, it is about body-fucking-solidarity. Fat acceptance is body acceptance. It is about accepting each and every body in its own right, no matter what it looks like or what gender it is or what colour or whether it fits into some kind of narrow societal mold of appropriate ability. Glorifying fat bodies through the vilification of thin ones only celebrates and cements a culture of body shame.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><br /></div></div></div></div></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-69093084927287268732010-09-02T21:42:00.000-07:002010-09-03T03:49:23.659-07:00A Sweet Bitch of the Week Who Is Less Than Five Feet Tall: Tavi Gevinson<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDhfzDClPhv63oT4MYsJ1xBriL3vE4-56jCSN9RebUPE7NLm-pkAkwgbjM_l5FekV4u1-9i82y9__WOebfQZmk9pQgpk_Msbq0jVOxxdJhHZei-DGJA-HUMp828WiNBPzR5yiKl35blx4I/s1600/tavi3.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 245px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDhfzDClPhv63oT4MYsJ1xBriL3vE4-56jCSN9RebUPE7NLm-pkAkwgbjM_l5FekV4u1-9i82y9__WOebfQZmk9pQgpk_Msbq0jVOxxdJhHZei-DGJA-HUMp828WiNBPzR5yiKl35blx4I/s320/tavi3.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512543364938328882" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I really like </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tavi_Gevinson"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Tavi Gevinson</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. Tavi is a</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> fourteen year old girl who writes the crippling-feelings-of-inadequacy-inducing fashion blog, </span></span><a href="http://www.thestylerookie.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Style Rookie</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. I know that this post is really late to the Tavi hype and that there are probably lots of things that could be said about Tavi's privelege because her parents own </span></span><a href="http://www.interviewmagazine.com/blogs/culture/2009-03-13/tavi-williams-style-rookie/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">heaps of tripods</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> and her dad seems to have a lot of time to take her to Fashion Week events, but I just really like her.</span></span></span></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I like her because she is smart and her posts are funny. I like it when she writes about </span></span><a href="http://www.thestylerookie.com/2010/02/girl-power.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">feminism</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> and </span></span><a href="http://www.thestylerookie.com/2010/07/love_11.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Hole</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> and when she </span></span><a href="http://www.thestylerookie.com/2010/07/open-letter-to-seventeen-magazine-also.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">takes on</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> Seventeen Magazine. I really like it when she blogs for a week at Jezebel and talks about </span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5571050/daria--fashion-a-few-of-my-favorite-things"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Daria</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> and labels for different </span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5576832/isnt-it-about-time-we-called-curvy-models-simply-models"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">models</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. I really, really like it when she fiercely </span></span><a href="http://www.thestylerookie.com/2010/05/can-i-just-say.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">talks about</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><a href="http://www.thestylerookie.com/2010/05/few-observations.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">how</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> photographer Terry Richardson is a creepy and manipulative pervert. (If you need clarification on either Terry's creepy manipulation or on his perversion, perhaps because you don't spend a large amount of your free time trawling through feminism on the internet, then you should read the </span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5494634/meet-terry-richardson-the-worlds-most-fked-up-fashion-photographer"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">bits</span></span></a><a href="http://jezebel.com/5495699/exclusive-more-models-come-forward-with-allegations-against-fashion-photographer"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> and</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5501317/to-catch-a-predator-what-are-agencies-doing-to-keep-models-safe"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">pieces</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5536319/terry-richardson-explores-the-artistic-ladyflower-[nsfw]"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">of</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5498008/terry-richardson-responds-im-really-hurt-by-the-recent-and-false-allegations-of-insensitivity-and-misconduct"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">the</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5549462/14+year+old-just-wont-let-that-terry-richardson-sexual+harassment-thing-go"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Jezebel</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> expos</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><em style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">é</span></span></em></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">.)</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> Tavi </span></span><a href="http://www.thestylerookie.com/2010/05/few-observations.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">writes</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> about Terry:</span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(20, 19, 16); line-height: 22px; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"></span></span></i><blockquote style="text-align: justify;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">"I think we’re supposed to find significance in how ironic and funny it is, because, </span></span></i><em style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Ha-ha! There’s that Crazy Dude Terry with his signature glasses and flannel and perviness again! Ha-ha! That Terry, what a Crazy Dude, with his signature glasses and flannel and perviness! Again! </span></span></em><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He’s become this weird cultural icon whose “thing” it is is to be a perv. In these kinds of photos where he’s included, he’s the real model, and the girl who was hired is merely his prop, his trophy, a nameless, faceless girl that accentuates Crazy Dude Terry’s image but doesn’t get an image of her own."</span></span></i></blockquote><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"></span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(20, 19, 16); line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So it was when I read that, that I knew that I really, seriously liked Tavi.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And then I saw a photo of her wearing this huge, ridiculously giant Stephen Jones hair bow and I knew that I </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">fucking loved</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> Tavi.</span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=tavihairbow.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/tavihairbow.jpg" border="0" alt="tavi hair bow" /></span></span></a></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">[Photos from this post on Tavi's </span></span><a href="http://www.thestylerookie.com/2010/02/oh-my-god-alpaca.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">blog</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">.]</span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">It is the best and the biggest and the brightest hair bow that I have ever seen. And I fucking love hair bows. And just as I was marvelling about the the bow some more, I found out that heaps of people hated it! Mainly, The bow pissed off Paula Reed, the Editor of Grazia Magazine, because Tavi wore it while she was sitting in front of her at the Christian Dior haute couture show in Paris. Paula Reed then complained about it a bit on Twitter. Then Jezebel </span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5456560/tempest-in-a-trilby-fashion-blogger-tavi-gevinsons-hated-hat"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">wrote</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> about how it was pretty rude for Reed to tweet a picture of the bow to her followers, especially when:</span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=500x_tavi_s_bow_perspective.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "></span></a><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=500x_tavi_s_bow_perspective.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/500x_tavi_s_bow_perspective.jpg" border="0" alt="hair bow perspective" /></span></span></a></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">[Taken from </span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5456560/tempest-in-a-trilby-fashion-blogger-tavi-gevinsons-hated-hat"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Jezebel</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">.]</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Oh Tavi, you sweet bitch of the week. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So I basically love Tavi for wearing being so brave and smart and for wearing her bow and then </span><a href="http://www.thestylerookie.com/2010/01/home.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">joking about it</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> on her blog. Especially because some people are always gong to be calling for some kind of backlash, because it's not like you can ever publicly succeed without seeing your inevitable fall from grace approaching in the rear view mirror. Just ask Britney. When </span></span><a href="http://www.stepsofthemet.com/2010/04/tavi-puppet.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">the</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/43556883.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">bloggers</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> and the marketing managers </span></span><a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/fashion/news/fluff-flies-as-fashion-writers-pick-a-cat-fight-with-bloggers-1884539.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">for Selfridges</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> and the journalists from </span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5423555/elle-editor-leads-backlash-against-13+year+old-fashion-blogger"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Elle</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> (and lest we forget one </span></span><a href="http://www.godammit.com/2009/12/09/the-tavi-problem/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">crazy internet lady </span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">who thinks she has the medical expertise to diagnose Tavi with Aspergers on the internet) seem so hell bent on instigating a backlash against a clever and sassy and courageous young lady who is only just starting high school, I am so fucking glad that Tavi exists and that she wore the bow, and that now she is wearing </span><a href="http://www.thestylerookie.com/2010/08/nancy-needs-to-calm-down.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">these</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> ridiculous pants.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> </span></span></div></div></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-37647271497855719802010-08-20T05:17:00.000-07:002010-09-01T16:32:37.955-07:00A Post About Hacking, But Not About AJ Hackett<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgLyv-A7ePjnl4qzerdf0rF_7A2UU7n0mLr1-OqigHybH8GrzUwj-zKYtx1aMzkE1h04s5vRtToA0mOt-ODsR-GjenpungTynj7KA5-xeR2uFvpwYvQuzWkWYk4z2-CznWTTtXer_R-vlL/s1600/hackers.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 192px; height: 262px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgLyv-A7ePjnl4qzerdf0rF_7A2UU7n0mLr1-OqigHybH8GrzUwj-zKYtx1aMzkE1h04s5vRtToA0mOt-ODsR-GjenpungTynj7KA5-xeR2uFvpwYvQuzWkWYk4z2-CznWTTtXer_R-vlL/s320/hackers.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5510315872317246034" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Are we on the same page if I write a blog about Facebook hacking? Not the genuine kind of hacking where hackers steal all of your personal information for the purposes of credit card fraud or identity theft, and it's never as funny in real life as it was when it happened to Monica off Friends. Just the Cyber Bullying Lite kind. The kind where some unsuspecting soul leaves their Facebook logged in and they come back to find that their status has been updated to "Mmmmm I love PENIZ" or "Jenna is my best friend and without her the world would stop turning" or something. Trust me, it's a thing. I have never really been one to participate because my hatred of organised fun begins at Scrabble, hovers over cards and skateboards, then reaches to the very corners of obstacle courses, team sports and any kind of activity where there are rules. Generally, this hatred prevents me from doing most things socially apart from drinking and eating cheese. With Facebook hacking the rules seem to be loosely based around forgetting to log out and having friends who are assholes.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Sometimes though, hacking can actually be kind of funny. Once, my friend Felicity hacked into Rupert's Facebook to update his status to "I hate Love Actually." To those who know Rupert, this was truly shocking. Through denouncing Martine Mccutcheon's beanie; a soundtrack of classic Christmas hits and eight or so clumsily woven heteronormative plot lines, it was as if Rupert had thrown away his first born child. And for a conservative gay man, the disposal of a much wanted baby would be cause for concern indeed. Rupert actually loves Love Actually. How could you hate it so suddenly, Rupert? Don't you know that the twelve year old girl who played Joanna sung 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' so perfectly that they had to add in little breathing sounds in post production to make it believable? Don't you know that the reveal when Hugh Grant is kissing Martine during the school play actually happened in REAL LIFE and the audience reaction is real? Haven't you watched the deleted scenes that they filmed in Africa? There was an initial flurry of internet activity, with offers of support and counselling coming as thick and fast as the gays would have gone to the box office if the vaguely homosexual storyline in </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Valentines Day</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> was actually advertised in the trailer. Then, the hoax was revealed. Widespread relief. Congratulations Felicity.</span></span></span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><div style="text-align: justify;">Other times, hacking can actually be really offensive. Offensive even beyond the I'll-update-your-status-to-be-something-sexual-because-don't-you-know-you're-a-girl-and-you're-supposed-to-put-out-but-God-forbid-you-act-like-you-like-it kind of hacking. When I got home tonight, I noticed that a Facebook aquaintance of mine had been hacked.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">E's profile picture had been changed to this:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=elka.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/elka.jpg" border="0" alt="E facebook hack" /></a></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>(Edit - um okay, photobucket. Block an image of a woman doing up her pants. Here is a </i><a href="http://www.google.co.nz/imgres?imgurl=http://croneandbearit.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/fat-woman-in-shorts4.jpg%3Fw%3D225%26h%3D300&imgrefurl=http://croneandbearit.wordpress.com/2009/04/28/honey-spandex-can-only-do-so-much/&usg=__Sg8wOEk_R7zDs_M1P17Reile1Qg=&h=300&w=225&sz=10&hl=en&start=0&sig2=q2Fzkjn7xM3Ys1TPZfgz2g&zoom=0&tbnid=DNNGaetd_Y1daM:&tbnh=116&tbnw=87&ei=NwJ5TLnEOIr6swP3pZHtCg&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dfat%2Bwoman%2Btrying%2Bto%2Bdo%2Bup%2Bpants%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1366%26bih%3D675%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=806&oei=NwJ5TLnEOIr6swP3pZHtCg&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=32&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0&tx=43&ty=59"><i>link</i></a><i> to the image.)</i></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">E's status had been updated to "Mmmmmmm </span></span><a href="http://www.buckangel.com/index.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">www.buckangel.com</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">" </span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(That link is mightily unsafe for work by the way, Buck Angel is transgender porn star. Well, it's unsafe for work if you work at a school or a Government Department. If you worked at like, </span></span><a href="http://www.goodforher.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Good For Her</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, it would probably be fine. Here is his </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buck_Angel">wiki</a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.)</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And she had 'liked' the </span></span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/thetaskforce?v=info"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">National Gay and Lesbian Taskforce</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. A group whose bio reads:</span></span></span></div></span></span><span style="font-style:italic;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div></span><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-family:arial;font-size:small;"></span></div><blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-family:arial;font-size:small;">"The Task Force: the uncompromising voice for LGBT equality for more than 30 years.</span></div><span style="font-style:italic;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:small;">[...]</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;">As part of a broader social justice movement, we work to create a nation that respects the diversity of human expression and identity and creates opportunity for all."</span></div></span></span></blockquote><span style="font-style:italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"></span></div></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style:italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">How hilarious. Fatphobia, Transphobia, Whorephobia and Homophobia all bundled into one side-splitting hack.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:small;">When I masochistically kept scrolling down my news feed, I saw that another Facebook aquaintance, K who totally does not know E and has a vastly different social circle due to both geographic location and age, had also been hacked. Just a charmingly simple dose of homophobia this time:</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=kfacebookhack.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/kfacebookhack.jpg" border="0" alt="k facebook hack" /></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">By the way, the full name of that group was "I hate it when guys hit on me when I am quite obviously a lesbian". LOLZ, right?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The only thing that makes this stuff funny is privilege. The privilege that the hacker and the hackee have to utilize othered and marginalized groups as their punch line. It is funny to make E's profile picture that of an actual living, breathing fat woman who has thoughts and feelings and likes and dislikes and desires and goals, because E is thin. It is funny to post that she loves Buck Angel, a transman porn star, one because she is </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"><a href="http://www.deeplyproblematic.com/2010/08/why-i-use-that-word-that-i-use-cis.html">cisgender</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;"> and because transexuals can't be sexual, because they're gross, right?</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> And because no-one should admit to watching porn, because it's dirty, even though it seems like Buck is laughing all the way to the bank. It is funny to make E join the Gay and Lesbian Task Force and for K to assert that she loves being a lesbian, because in real life E and K are actually heterosexual. Would it be funny if I joined the Gay and Lesbian Taskforce? Oh no, wait, I have a girlfriend who I have LESBIAN SEX with so the joke is over. It is funny because E and K and their friends live in a society where thin, straight and cisgendered people have the privelege and the power. Their bodies and their gender and their sex lives aren't just considered a joke in and of themselves. Fat people, gay people and transpeople aren't normal, so they must a be a joke.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And, at the end of the day, it's a joke right? I should lighten up, huh. I just need to take a train to Chilloutville. It's not as if jokes like this actually perpetuate power imbalance in our society or anything. It's not like the majority of transpeople have </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><a href="http://jezebel.com/5623925/study-majority-of-trans-people-have-suffered-abuse">suffered from abuse</a> and it's</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> not like gay people are sometimes </span></span><a href="http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/07/24/Gay_Man_Prevented_From_Dying_Partner_Wins_Lawsuit/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">prevented</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> from seeing their long term partner while they are dying, because they don't have the same civil rights or anything. It's not like fat people are physically </span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5392810/will-anti+fat-hate-crimes-make-people-take-sizeism-seriously"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">attacked</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> because of what their body looks like. I mean why do my feminazi chums and I have to take everything so seriously?</span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=995HAC_Angelina_Jolie_076.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "></span></a><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=995HAC_Angelina_Jolie_076.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/995HAC_Angelina_Jolie_076.jpg" border="0" alt="angelina" /></span></span></a></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Sorry, I had to post some Angelina because I was getting too worked up. Being a feminazi can be very exhausting. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Just a hint, if you are in doubt about your hacking behaviours, don't rely on OTHERED GROUPS IN SOCIETY for your punchline. Or just ask my friend Felicity for advice. Go for the weak spot. Which in an idealistically built-on-equality-and social-justice kind of world would be less about sexual orientation and more about British romantic comedies. Bring on the hacks! Four Weddings and a Funeral! Notting Hill! About a Boy! Bridget Jones! Bridget Jones and the Edge of Reason! Come on my friends, Hugh Grant and I are waiting!</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i>NB - Dear readers, it has come to my attention that it was actually Scarlett who pranked Rupert, actually. Scarlett, from </i><a href="http://iamoffendedbecause.blogspot.com/2010/07/sweet-bitch-of-week-from-closer-to-home.html"><i>Sweet Bitch of the Week</i></a><i> fame. Hacking, it is a secretive business.</i></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-14450147541177813132010-08-19T20:32:00.001-07:002010-08-20T04:58:48.353-07:00A Sweet Bitch of the Week: I Heart Amelia Hart<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghOx6zeR5FGp4SPkjYOkt3fjP14dFXp2irIn7DqXZl8ozDQajXltNcne94mGzNFVg3W9smslhdm4UhQCmacv7gg_v-5fMHMHSyGS65URWNlX_NoNIIWOSRBqA_CNzY4B-aEDOww9kks04t/s1600/ameliahart.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghOx6zeR5FGp4SPkjYOkt3fjP14dFXp2irIn7DqXZl8ozDQajXltNcne94mGzNFVg3W9smslhdm4UhQCmacv7gg_v-5fMHMHSyGS65URWNlX_NoNIIWOSRBqA_CNzY4B-aEDOww9kks04t/s320/ameliahart.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5507340533861240658" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div style="text-align: justify;">I should probably stop entitling these as 'Sweet Bitch of the Week' posts, because I really am yet to manage any kind of regularity. I was perhaps kidding myself that I could commit to any kind of positivity on a weekly basis, but who doesn't love a trier? Especially when that trier will ply you excellent role models and photos of babes.</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">My Sweet Bitch of this week is Miss Amelia Hart, whom I discovered through her blog </span></span><a href="http://missameliahart.blogspot.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Good Stuff Only</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. This was one of the first plus sized fashion blogs that I started looking at, and I love it. My eyes really like looking at these blogs but I also think they serve a really important purpose for fatty visibility. When was the last time you saw a fat person on the </span></span><a href="http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Sartorialist</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">? Like, never. Fat people exist. Fat people have to wear clothes, or else they would get arrested. Often fat people look really awesome in their clothes, and often when you look awesome, people are going to want to look at you too. So it's really awesome that blogs like Amelia's exist, because Scott <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Schuman</span> isn't doing anything for the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">fatosphere</span>. Actually, he isn't doing anything for anyone other than men in Milan with well cut suits and girls in sundresses on bikes. (On the subject of fat people existing and therefore having to wear clothes;</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> I'm talking to you now mainstream fashion. Don't give me any more bullshit about a lack of demand to extend your sizes. Just get on with it, it will probably end the recession, along with gay marriage. Although, am not sure I even want to be able to go into <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Glassons</span> or <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Supre</span> and fit into everything in the shop. My current regime of looking for <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">over sized</span> tunics, lycra and jersey means that I don't feel quite so guilty for trying not to think about how </span></span><a href="http://jezebel.com/5040032/we-love-cheap-stuff-but-fast-fashion-is-hard-to-defend"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">shitty</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> fast fashion is for everybody apart from like, Chief Executives.)</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Fatshion</span> blogs are also important for fat creativity and fat community and for giving ladies opportunities to commit fat fashion theft. How else would I have found out about my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">ASOS</span> Curve leggings if I hadn't stolen the idea off </span></span><a href="http://www.definatalie.com/2010/05/27/diy-project-fringe-skirt/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Definatalie</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">? Actually, I probably never would have found out about Natalie's blog if my friend Meg hadn't linked me to her. My legs would have had to continue wearing normal leggings without any mesh panel inserts. Tragic.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I basically think Amelia is a mega babe. To be honest, I have an <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Internet</span> crush on her. She posts amazing outfit photos, makes excellent make up choices and gives sage advice about bike shorts. I really like how many lovely vintage pieces she has, especially because finding plus sized vintage clothing is really hard work. It is labour. When scouring </span></span><a href="http://www.trademe.co.nz/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">TradeMe</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> for fatty vintage I often compare my bleary eyes to that of a Victorian seamstress. On a lighter topic than the industrial revolution, here is Amelia with Beth Ditto (as pictured </span><a href="http://missameliahart.blogspot.com/2010/04/like-cat.html#comments"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">here</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">), which basically rules:</span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">
<br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=AMELIABETH.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/AMELIABETH.jpg" border="0" alt="<span class=" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I've never met her but she makes me want to chop off all my hair, dye it red and </span><a href="http://missameliahart.blogspot.com/2010/04/crop-top-cutie.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">wear</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> a crop top. Here's to you Miss Amelia, you sweet bitch of the week.</span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=ameliacroptop.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "></span></a><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=ameliacroptop.jpg" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/ameliacroptop.jpg" border="0" alt="<span class=" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13" /></span></a></div></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">
<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(Slight niggling thought that am possibly just using Sweet Bitch of the Week as an excuse to post pictures of busty red heads. Am pervert. Am ignoring inner voice questioning my objectification of women and instead concentrating on vague statements like 'celebration of womanhood'.)</span></i></span></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-23554990428947970862010-08-14T02:53:00.000-07:002010-08-15T17:16:12.291-07:00Va-Jesus Christ.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ4YDw2SWekolr1jtCD2e5Bmi-yUMqQQ3uPSLw7obIRuBnV_Slg0oTQunKY8tUa4kW_5UrZgiCqonzk288ggeKVetY_J4kQ-L8k-ZmOT1B4rHyZjcg2q-jPbhP0ndm8ZrAvomcXJkqOqMG/s1600/disco+ball.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 281px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ4YDw2SWekolr1jtCD2e5Bmi-yUMqQQ3uPSLw7obIRuBnV_Slg0oTQunKY8tUa4kW_5UrZgiCqonzk288ggeKVetY_J4kQ-L8k-ZmOT1B4rHyZjcg2q-jPbhP0ndm8ZrAvomcXJkqOqMG/s320/disco+ball.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5505223238521716386" /></a><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color:text1;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">To be honest with you, lately I've been thinking quite a lot about</span> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6600CC;"><a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=vajazzling"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">vajazzling</span></a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">. Well, not really </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">a lot</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;"> a lot. It's not like I'm approaching my two year anniversary with my girlfriend and I have automatically developed an obsession with pussy decoration. I’ve just been thinking about it more often than usual. And like, it's normal that I've been thinking about it quite a bit, because it seems like you can't even move on the internet recently without bumping into someone talking about vajazzling, or possibly even making a joke about her lesser cousin,</span> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6600CC;"><a href="http://jezebel.com/5535505/clitter-for-sparkly-vaginas-on-a-budget"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Clitter</span></a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">Possibly it seems like I have been thinking about it more than usual because until like, May, I hadn’t thought about vajazzling at all, ever. And you know, the thought of vajazzling actually isn’t sitting that comfortably with me. Which is probably what it feels like to have tiny jewels glued all over your pubic area, but having never put on any kind of clam costume, I can't really comment. And as a don’t-knock-it-till-you’ve-tried-it kinda girl, maybe vajazzling is actually really great. </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;"> (FYI, this approach to life also applies to beetroot, Vegemite and cream cheese on toast, as well as anal sex and handwriting analysis).</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;"> But I still feel uncomfortable. About vajazzling, not anal sex.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;"> </span></span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">Uncomfortable, offended. They’re all the same. I think I'm going to try and use this post to unwrap exactly what it is that is about vajazzling that is making me feel uncomfortable. If you don’t like disjointed self analysis and patchy feminist theory, stop reading now. Blogging; it's like psychotherapy but cheaper and more public.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;"> </span></span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color:text1;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">To get started, here is that video where Jennifer Love Hewitt brought vajazzling into the public consciousness: (</span></span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnUloWnKjg4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Link</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">, in case my HTML doesn't work.)</span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0E0010;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span><object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NnUloWnKjg4?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NnUloWnKjg4?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /><br /></span></span><p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color:text1;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color:text1;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">And here is a YouTube of a lady called Bryce getting vajazzled: (Another</span> </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnDwcSfL2Tw&has_verified=1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">link</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">)</span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(14, 0, 16); "><object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fnDwcSfL2Tw?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fnDwcSfL2Tw?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); "><span style="color:text1;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(14, 0, 16); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">And here is a blog post</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;"> (Title:</span> </span><span style="color:black;mso-thememso-bidi-font-weight:boldcolor:text1;"><a href="http://crushable.com/other-stuff/i-vajazzled-and-i-liked-it/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I Vajazzled And I Liked It</span></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">) where a woman from Crushable wrote about her experience getting decorated. In case you were wondering, she had sex and none of the crystals fell off.</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></o:p></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(14, 0, 16); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">Obviously, I’m uncomfortable that women feel they have to vajazzle in the first place. To explain my discomfort I was going to try and write something about the beauty myth and femininity and feminism and the associated</span> </span><span style="color:black;mso-thememso-bidi-font-weight:boldcolor:text1;"><a href="http://wellness.blogs.time.com/2010/03/05/bedazzling-below-the-belt/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">health risks</span></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">but then I found</span> </span><span style="color:black;mso-thememso-bidi-font-weight:boldcolor:text1;"><a href="http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2010/03/15/the-problem-with-defending-the-sacred-choice-to-vajazzle/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">this</span></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">article by Amanda Hess, which I think you should probably just go and read instead. Here are some highlights:</span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(14, 0, 16); font-family:arial;"></span></span></p><blockquote><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">In last week’s post, I floated the following equation:</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;"> </span></span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">Sexual Repression</span></span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;"> + </span></span></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">Capitalism</span></span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;"> + </span></span></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">Sexism </span></span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">=</span></span></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">Vajazzling<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;"> </span></span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">I think it would be appropriate to add “Pseudo-Feminism” to the list of Vajazzling’s contributing societal factors. But first, let’s tackle the good old fashioned anti-feminism at play here: Capitalism will find a way to exploit any weaknesses in our society, and sexism is one of them. Take </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">Liz Lemon</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">’s analysis of Valentine’s Day from </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">30 Rock</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">: “Valentine’s Day is a sham created by card companies to reinforce and exploit gender stereotypes.” You could say the same thing about the cosmetics industry, plastic surgeons, and Vajazzling technicians.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">When it comes to personal appearance, it’s no coincidence that femininity is marked by performance, while masculinity is just as often defined by men </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">not performing</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;"> things. Shaving your body hair is feminine; not shaving is masculine. Plucking, waxing, or bleaching stray facial hairs is feminine; growing a few days of stubble is masculine. Applying makeup is feminine; not painting your face is masculine. Dying, styling, blow-drying, and curling your hair is feminine; keeping a low-maintenance hair cut is masculine.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;"> </span></span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">I suspect that this is because women are encouraged to achieve societal power through their appearance and sexuality, while men are encouraged to achieve power from . . . reaching real positions of power, like running companies and governments. Sure, women who are very successful at performing femininity can gain some real power, too. Maybe there’s a two-year window there where women can translate their success in this field into posing for </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">Playboy</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">, or shaking in a music video, or stripping, all of which can translate into money in the bank—until they get a little bit older and fall out of favor in those industries. Maybe so</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">me women can aspire to be trophy wives and get their social validation by being married to a successful man. The majority of women won’t be able to make a career out of performing femininity. And yet, we’re still shaving and waxing and plucking and dieting and padding and inflating and cinching and painting and dyeing and</span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;"> surgically trimming our labia</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;"> and, now,</span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;"> vajazzling</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;"> like it’s our jobs—even as we have been successful in claiming real power as Senators and CEOs and lawyers and doctors and journalists.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color:text1;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color:text1;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And:</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color:text1;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color:text1;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"></span></span></span></p><span style="color:text1;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><blockquote style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">This is where the “a woman’s choice!” defenders come in. How could we possibly deny women the choice to engage in these behaviors, if that’s what they love? Look: I don’t begrudge women who make the choice to perform the behaviors of femininity. I perform many of them myself, on a daily basis! Resisting engaging in these things is almost impossible. But I don’t kid myself into thinking that I just love wearing lipstick because I was born that way, or that I shave my legs because I have somehow independently decided—without any influence from my culture!—that that’s the way I personally prefer my legs to look.</span></span></blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">She's good, right?</span></span></span></span></div></span></span><p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;"> </span></span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color:text1;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">Of course I am offended by vajazzling. Of course I am offended by the culture of pussy shame that we live in, a culture where talking about your genitalia is gross and waxing all the hair off it is normal and where we all say vagina and not vulva, because why would we even bother getting the anatomy right for something as disgusting as what is between our legs? Of course I will defend a woman's choice to vajazzle, until I am blue in the face, but I think there is something bigger here. I am offended that getting a Brazilian is considered to be an appropriate anniversary gift, because here baby, why don’t you have a little less of me. I am offended because so many of my friends have had a boyfriend who wouldn't go down on them unless they had showered in the last five minutes. I am offended by the dudes I have slept with who expected me to blow them every time but who wouldn’t eat me out because they didn't like the taste. I am offended by a world in which I was ever an 18 year old in spotty pyjama shorts and freshly washed hair, dry humping the knee of a guy with dreadlocks but knowing I wouldn't let him get any further, not because I didn't want to but because I hadn't shaved that day. I am offended that labioplasty even exists. I am offended that when gay American autho</span>r </span></span><span style="color:text1;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Savage"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Dan Savage</span></a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">was asked about vajazzling, he</span> </span><a href="http://www.nerve.com/advice/2010/04/28/savage-love-this-week-dan-takes-on-vajazzling"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">said</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">:<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color:text1;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color:text1;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"></span></span></span></p><span style="color:text1;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><blockquote style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#330099;">[It's] like asking a vegan for her opinion on the wallpaper in a steak house. I'm simply too revolted by what's on the menu to take much notice of the decor.</span></span></blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span><p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color:text1;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color:text1;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">How hilarious Mr. Savage. I know that you’re gay, but being revolted isn't the same as being disinterested. Also, not all vegans are female, you asshat. I am offended that the</span> </span></span><span style="color:text1;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><a href="http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/carlin/2010/03/labiaplasty-how-censorship-has-skewed-our-notion-what-normal-genitals-look"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">censorship of mainstream soft pornography</span></a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">has warped our perception of what a normal vagina looks like. I am offended that labioplasty even exists in the first place. I am offended that some girls are too grossed out by their pussies to masturbate and I am offended that some of my female friends don't want to hear about my lesbian sex life because they think it's gross, even though THEY HAVE THEIR OWN VAGINA THAT I ASSUME THEY MAY HAVE TOUCHED AT SOME POINT. Of course it is this stuff I am offended by. Look, I had to use caps lock. But I also think that when it comes to my vajazzling discomfort, there is a little more than this.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;"> </span></span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">I think that something else I’m uncomfortable about is how people seem to think that vajazzling is HILARIOUS. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(14, 0, 16); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">I am uncomfortable because the mainstream media coverage on vajazzling doesn't talk about the beauty myth or the performance of femininity or the increasing popularity of labioplasty. Not in the</span> </span><a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/celebrities/3991133/Celebrities-spark-vajazzling-trend"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Stuff</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">article or the</span> </span><a href="http://blogs.news.com.au/couriermail/emily/index.php/couriermail/comments/vajazzling/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Courier Mail</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">blog or the</span> </span><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/feb/06/lucy-mangan-lalaland-liz-hurley"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Guardian</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">piece or</span> </span><a href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,591129,00.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Fox News</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">(but actually the Sydney Morning Herald </span></span><a href="http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/remember-you-heard-it-here-20100302-pgga.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">opinion piece</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">was pretty good.) They didn't mention it because it’s a joke, right? I am offended by how Ann Aitken Worth wrote on her Stuff news site blog</span> </span><a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/blogs/are-we-there-yet/3997296/Vajazzling-Really"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Are We There Yet?</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">that it must be uncomfortable to ride a bike vajazzled, and that that is funny, but nobody is amused about how it would be uncomfortable to ride a bike with waxing burn or Spanx or in heels and a pencil skirt because that shit is normal. In the quest for beauty it's normal to be uncomfortable and to have trouble taking a piss. I am offended that it's funny that a lady is just trying to please someone, probably a dude, and it's funny to laugh at either her low self esteem, or her wealth of pussy confidence. Or maybe she is an adult entertainer, and that's not a joke, it's job. Or is it funny because vajazzling is something that only sluts would do, and they wouldn't buy the cow if they could get the milk for free? I am offended because of course it makes me think of that Margaret Atwood</span> </span><a href="http://www.fortunecity.com/victorian/rodin/196/atwood.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">poem</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">I am offended because I think there might be some kind of subtext here that pussies are obviously so gross and disgusting and ugly that why would you even bother putting crystals on them. I am offended because vajazzling is hilarious but waxing off all of your pubes at sixty bucks and three ingrown hairs a pop is normal and barely funny at all and it is expected. I am offended because nobody found</span> </span><a href="http://adland.tv/content/guccis-hairy-ad"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">that Gucci advert</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">funny, and getting a ‘T’ waxed into your pubic hair for your boyfriend Tim’s birthday is a romantic gesture. I am offended because women are supposed to look effortlessly beautiful, and maybe vajazzling is funny because obviously women are trying a little bit too hard. I am offended because reading all of this stuff somehow cheapens my love of lipstick and MAC cosmetics and low cut tops, but I'll still be putting them all on again tomorrow and I don't whether it's because I love it or I think I love it. I am uncomfortable because everyone is just having a laugh and in that Crushable</span> </span><a href="http://crushable.com/other-stuff/i-vajazzled-and-i-liked-it/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">blog</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">the woman said that getting vajazzled actually hurts.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;"> </span></span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color:text1;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">I’m sure there are some jokes about vajazzling that are really good. A joke about scissoring with disco ball comes to mind. I can’t be bothered developing it but you get the idea. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">Or when Amanda Hess and her equally great feminist blogger counterpart Sady Doyle said that the male counterpart for vajazzling could be</span> </span><a href="http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2010/03/12/sexist-beatdown-vajazzling-and-its-inevitable-male-counterpart-dickerating/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">dickerating</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">Or when my friend Felicity found a sequin from Scarlett’s mini skirt on her inner thigh, and Di made a joke about vajazzling and it was funny because it was topical because there were already sparkles near a vagina. Or maybe a joke about the</span> </span><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/46287115.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">glowing vagina poster</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">for the Real L Word. Merkins, also possibly topical. I feel like these are acceptable jokes about vajazzling. But when you make a joke about vajazzling and you have no punch line, I don’t think it’s that great. Because you are either making fun of the rare woman who thinks her pussy is so wonderful that it deserves to be decorated, or you are laughing at a girl who is so embarrassed by her own anatomy that she feels compelled to rip her hair out and cover herself in crystals. Neither of which are all that funny really. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;"> </span></span></span></o:p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">(But, to be honest, if you had sex with the dude up there while he was in that costume I’d probably laugh. Even if he just kept the glasses on.)</span></span></span></i></p></div></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-61833562635837683762010-08-08T14:26:00.000-07:002010-08-08T16:19:52.943-07:00Some Crap Advice From Facebook<a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=fattestnation.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/fattestnation.jpg" border="0" alt="fattestnation" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">Really? Actually? Australia being "the fattest nation on earth" is something that warrants me to weep salty tears from my very eyes? Is this really necessary? I wasn't aware that it was even common practice to cry over the sexual behaviours of others (sluts, also possibly bitches) in the first place, but crying over what a bunch of people look like seems to be kind of a crap alternative.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">My suggestions:</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">- A death in the family.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">- Darfur.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">- Sex trafficking.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">- </span><a href="http://www.deeplyproblematic.com/2010/08/17-month-old-roy-jones-brutally.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">This.</span></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">- </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094715/">Beaches</a>, or possibly <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120686/">Stepmom</a>.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">- The gender wage gap.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">- Bosnia.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">- The way that </span><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1561756/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The Real L Word</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> portrays lesbian sexuality. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">- Tilda Swinton signing a <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Movies/09/29/polanski.filmmakers.protest/">petition</a> in support of fugitive child rapist Roman Polanski.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">- </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiana_Firouz"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Kiana Firouz</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">- That <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKAXcnhGMIE">bit</a> in the final episode of Sex and the City after Charlotte finds out she is getting a baby and Miranda's house-keeper kisses her on the forehead and tells her she has found out what love truly is, and then Carrie comes back from Paris and Samantha has an orgasm while the bulbs sprout into flowers because SPRING HAS FINALLY ARRIVED.</span></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2248771638146280147.post-10804444777565651572010-08-06T15:22:00.001-07:002010-08-06T23:42:20.416-07:00An Open Letter to James, Who Lives In Christchurch<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2sleZMvZGw9y9yaczguj1A5ml1sr9LvgX-99IqMtP6i_Z5-iOk6fhDcDLjIVk8aJCM5oO2sMrvUnFImiXLjpwlI64kZp2qIbJ_d5l4fnoqQn4Q9tB8f21KH2bUQTahwZXxK75Sm3FmiKT/s1600/realwomen.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2sleZMvZGw9y9yaczguj1A5ml1sr9LvgX-99IqMtP6i_Z5-iOk6fhDcDLjIVk8aJCM5oO2sMrvUnFImiXLjpwlI64kZp2qIbJ_d5l4fnoqQn4Q9tB8f21KH2bUQTahwZXxK75Sm3FmiKT/s320/realwomen.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5502533466270101458" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">James, first things first, I want to say that I'm not writing to reminisce about all of the hormonal and opportunistic sex we had in the summer of 2007, or the sex in 2006, or the sex in the more desperate university holidays in 2008. I don't really want to talk about it, mainly because you never made me come and you also kept a cum towel by your bed, which you would hand to me after you were finished with it. I am now concerned about whether or not it was the same towel over a three year period and also about the spelling duo of </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">cum</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> and </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">come</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">, and I can't seem to bring myself to write the word 'cum' for orgasm, because it seems obscene and also ugly and it always reminds me of jizz, which I don't have any of, and I hope that this isn't because of some kind of deep seated sexual issue. I also hope you have washed the towel.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">What I am writing to talk to you about is a group that you joined quite recently on Facebook. I don't know if you've noticed, but I like to over-analyse what other people do on the internet, mainly because I'm fascinated by this global and public and intending-to-be-social forum as well as liking the fact that it gives me hard evidence to copy and paste into my blog, rather than just having to recount offensive conversations I have with people in the real word. You mightn't have noticed because although we're friends with each other on Facebook we never really talk, not because things are awkward or anything but mostly just because we never really had anything to talk about in the first place. The sex we would have, usually at your flat because I was home for the holidays and my family is liberal but not that liberal, it was just mostly based upon convenience and inebriation and low self esteem and a similar sexual appetite, so I think it's pretty normal for us not to talk anymore, especially now that it's 2010 and I have a girlfriend and you have a jet-ski. But the page that you liked recently, I guess I found it kind of offensive. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">If you don't know what one I mean, I have helpfully labelled it for you here, just in case:</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/?action=view&current=curvygirls-1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss50/allygarrett/curvygirls-1.jpg" border="0" alt="curvywomenbig" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">You liked </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Curvy-girls-are-better-than-skinny-girls/280181565815?ref=search"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Curvy Girls Are Better Than Skinny Girls</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">, along with 1,772,675 other people. And like, that's cool. On the surface, this group seems like it might be trying to be progressive, in some way, like that <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0296166/">movie</a> with America Ferrera, because the title is size-positive and it makes a statement about how thin bodies are valued over fat bodies. (Although curvy really is a problematic euphemism for fat, because curvy should just mean having curves on your body, and if the word fat wasn't used as as a death sentence and a humiliation maybe people wouldn't need to clutch onto their curves so tightly). But while this group might technically be size-positive, it isn't body positive. It isn't woman positive. It's still rating women against each other, it's still making bodies a competition, it's still body surveillance culture. (Consequently, there seems to be a whole lot of <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Curvy-girls-are-better-than-skinny-girls/280181565815?ref=search#!/photo.php?pid=5141685&op=1&o=global&view=global&subj=280181565815&id=603351149&fbid=413861061149">surveying</a> going on on that website.) Fat acceptance isn't saying that fat bodies are better. <a href="http://www.definatalie.com/2010/06/21/about-fat-acceptance/">Fat acceptance</a> isn't saying that everybody should be fat. It's about accepting bodies because they are bodies and they are attached to people with thoughts and feelings and it's about self esteem and it's about how everybody deserves respect, no matter what they look like. Fat acceptance is not body snarking on thin women, and it is not saying that real women have curves. A hip to waist ratio does not make anyone any more '</span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Real-women-have-curvesNot-the-body-of-a-12-year-old-boy/106382926061562?ref=search"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">real</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">' than anyone else. Curves do not a woman make. Criticizing thin bodies is actually just validating sizeism. Celebrating one thing by tearing down something else isn't really very celebratory at all.</span></span></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">And James, if you really want to publicly announce your sexual preferences, there are heaps of groups that you could join to proclaim your love of T&A, without hating on any other kind of body type. Not any <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Big-boobs-dont-count-if-youre-fat/102266026486015?ref=search#!/pages/Big-boobs-dont-count-if-youre-fat/102266026486015?v=wall&ref=search">of</a> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Liking-curvy-girls-does-not-mean-I-like-fat-girls-go-on-a-diet/189595474929?ref=search">these</a> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Women-with-curves-are-sexy-If-i-wanted-to-see-bones-Id-go-to-a-museum/109349005767011?ref=ts">ones</a> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Your-so-sexy-and-curvy-LOL-jk-u-should-sue-McDonalds/120061558015662?ref=search">though</a>, because then I would probably have to write another blog post about you. You could just become a fan of </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/apps/application.php?id=119151871437655&ref=ts"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Curvy Girls</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> or of </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Boobs/110757592298744?ref=search"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Boobs</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> or of </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/tits-and-ass/115934578443192?ref=search"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Tits and Ass</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> or even the misspelled, but straight to the point, </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/i-love-curvey-woman/145423235469664?ref=ts"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I Love Curvey Woman</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">. (I noticed you are friends with your dad on Facebook though, I hope he's into it). Although really, it still is kind of problematic to reduce what you like about women to their body parts. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I think that part of the reason I felt so uncomfortable with the group you joined, is because I have fucked you. Multiple times. With my curvy body. Should I be pleased that I fit into this so easily definable category of women that you like? Is the Facebook page some kind of compliment? Do I even get to say anything about the way that these Facebook groups turn women into commodities, when I just had sex with you because I was 19 and drunk and horny? Am I allowed to complain when I have sent you a pxt of my tits? Am I allowed to complain when I knew that you would probably show it to your friends and that I didn't mind? Do I have an argument against objectification when I showed all my cellphone pictures of your cock to the other waitresses I worked with at the time, to make a long shift go faster and to show off that I was getting some? In the words of the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM-6Ac9Mh8g">Shortland Street theme song</a>, is it you or is it me? Do I get to complain about raunch culture, when sometimes I like the raunch? It's confusing, when you start thinking about it. Let me know what you think.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Kind, and now somewhat confused, regards,</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Ally Garrett.</span></div>Allyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06728172539093346724noreply@blogger.com7